A Song Of Life, In Four Acts

Act I
Just a lost misfit
Outcast and isolated, always alone
Just one more no one
Expecting to always be on my own.

I met a girl and took a bit of affection
As a sign of undying love and life match
Besides I took what I could get
I was no sought after prize match.

More than twenty years of torture
Some call it a marriage
A few good times and fun
Mostly for all the effort; a life of miscarriage.

After more than enough than what any should take
And sticking through years of pure stubbornness
I found a friend with more than a minor spark
From the start it had feelings boundless.

And she said all the feelings were mutual
That we were a match to the depths of our souls
And she needed rescued from a life that was dead
For her health, for her safety, and to be whole.


Act II
From the belief that it was the thing that could be done
I gave up all, my life, my goals, my past
And to the best of my power
I did my very best, did all that was asked.

But as I should always expect
Nothing could turn out as I ever hoped
So she returned to the very life from which she asked rescue
Just too many troubles, too hard coped.

She would return, that was the pledge
It was just for a short time
Until things could be worked, holidays passed
It would work out, anything else would be a crime.

It made one feel a second choice
A fall back plan, a safety net
Nothing more than an opportunity to make another life better
While being an option, to help hedge the bet.

But things always got delayed
Set back and modified for the will of another
The law giver, puppet master
The first choice in life, The Other.


Act III
It turns out though that I was Mr. Arrogant again
That I flattered myself more than I thought
Second place in life’s pecking order was over stated
Before I could be choice, others on that list must be caught.

Needs and wishes, hopes and dreams
Those things are only to be filled for others, not me
I am here to fill a roll, to server those who have feelings that count
To stay in my place, accept what I am told my life should be.

My very existence is nothing more than an after thought
To fill a quota when the first try did not work out
A daughter and a son was the contract
And when the first try was a failure I was allowed to come about.

I am not here for my own benefit
My needs and pleasures are simply not a factor
Any attempts I make in that direction
Universally make my future blacker.

Others stole my thoughts and dreams
And they have proven quite proficient at killing them
No matter what steps I take or what plans I make
They will find them out and always I pay it would seem.

I cannot even select my own way out of the game
Because others know my will and my character bounds
I have obligations that they know I can’t abandon
And they can take advantage to keep me in their control grounds.

They can ferret them out because they know I will not leave my obligations
So they can kill my options by forestalling that end
While I lose will to carry out those plans
They can look for other ways to control me again.

Act IV
Of the plans I make and truly want
Control of those have been given to someone else
Someone in control with power and knowledge
No cares or intent to look out for anyone but them self.

But she that promises to return, will not unless told to leave
And she will do anything to avoid that fate
After all I am just her one and only true love,
Merely her life, her match, her soul mate.

She has even been told to leave before
Told not to come back again through the door
But she was called back again and those words revoked
So that does not count any more.

Because only the need and will of some count
And never have I been one of that number
Always do my thoughts belong at the back of the line
Like after thoughts always left to slumber.

When do my needs matter?
When do I get a chance to win?
Why would any think that this would suddenly happen?
I’m just here in case I’m ever needed again.

So let me know if I can serve
If you need someone to make you feel better
I can be your doormat
Or your ego sitter.

Maybe your shoes are dirty,
Please use my back to clean them
I need a job in life
Something to make me feel anything again.

I don’t need much
Just to feel useful
Give me a chance,
Sometimes I can be helpful.

I can always give a low mark
Against which to compare
I can make it seem like
You are without a care.