Conform Or Move On

A place to belong
All I have ever sought
A place to be myself
Somewhere to just be
Only to be rejected
With all that I am
Never allowed to see
A way to just live

Each step of the way
I struggle to survive
In a world alien
To be what is asked
Conform to the form
The will of others
Do what is asked
Submit to the rules

Just when it seems
I find that place
Allowed to be me
Can relate and stay
Then rules change
And again I conform
Adjust myself to
New rules, new views

I try to find one
In whom I can trust
Share their life
They accept mine
Be in their arms
Taken as I am
But always I must
Change and conform

Never enough
Not matter how much
I try to please
Do all that is asked
Give my whole
Conform to the hole
Presented for me
Then I move on

I look for a place
That I can share
A place I can give
A place I can take
I think I can breathe
I feel I belong
A place of care
Without judgment

And then I learn
Once again it is
On me to fit in
To conform to shape
Bend my will
To changing rules
Conform again
Or move on

I try to be all
Any could want
Give, abide, silent
I look only to live
Conform to fit
The mold presented
Only to see rules
Change once more

Love eludes me
Never enough
Friends can’t be
The wrong shape
Soul becomes Jello
Trying to fit in
Conform to stay
Or be on my way

I have become
A pliable blob
Mold me
Shape me
Still I don’t fit
Nor longer
Substance enough
To hold shape

Mind finally shattered
Into little shards
Too much reforming
Too much shaping
Trying to be
Whatever is sought
Simply trying
To conform

Conform and move on
Step one and two
A dance too often
I live, it is me
Never a place of my own
Never of world for me
While I run out of will
To conform and move on

So still I search
For arms to hold
Someone to share
To accept what I am
A home for my mind
Without judgment
No need to change
Except for myself

But it seems
Not to exist
Only conform
Or move on.