My New Best Friend

I got an E-mail yesterday
For a prince from far away
Just needed a little help
So now I am gonna be rich
That’s what he had to say

Got that phone call again last night
From that voice that sounds so light
She really likes me so very much
That she calls six times each week
Just to make sure my warranty is right

How I miss a human touch
A friendly hand to clutch
But I have new people around
Only worried about finances sound
Afraid on my loans I pay too much

I got an E-mail from my new best friend
She gets a little personal in what she sends
I don’t remember telling her about my meds
Sometimes she confuses what I need
But it is so good to have a friend

So I wait once more for the phone to ring
Hoping what the next call might bring
Maybe a lighter call
As I sit in the hall
And talk to my new best friend again.


G - June 2009

Wind Whips

Wind whips at the parched earth
Bones scattered on the ground
Barren as far as the eye could see
If the were anyone to look around

This was once a land of promise
There was a time of living dreams
But now that hope is cast aside
Existence as lifeless as if seems

Drained of a future meant to be
Appointed destination turned to lie
Abandoned to the vultures of life
No thoughts of even answering why




As the wind whips
At the bones scattered
One more life
That never mattered


G-June 2009

Bird from the tree

Bird falls from the tree
Abandoned never to see
Not another day alive
No chance to survive
Did it fall by accident
Or mercy heaven sent
Was it never meant to be
Little one from the tree

Picked up gently without hope
Too young for a chance to cope
Just another one thrown away
Life without any choice or say
Without a home, without a nest
Someone else decide for best
While for meaning others grope
Often without the slightest hope

Bird falls from the tree
One more not meant to be
But at least a spirit free
Little bird from the tree

G - June 2009

It is what it is

It is what it is
That is but life
There is no fault
It just is what it is

Love comes and goes
Just as the breath
Things to last forever
Are gone in a flash

A promise for all time
Nothing will ever stop it
Words etched in stone
Washed away by a breeze

Destiny written in the stars
Carved deep into the heart
Ingrained into the heart
Forgotten as mere idle thought

Fate was but a fraud
Miracle of meeting only a blink
Mated souls but a passing
And life just is what it is
So I’ve been told.
So I've been shown
It is what it is.

G - May 2009

Midnight

Midnight
In a world so alone
Thoughts
Only thoughts
Repeating in the head
Of a light that to the heart
Having once for the heart shone

It is one AM
All to be heard is the clock
Ticking
Only ticking
Like a drum ringing
Echoing on the wall
A woodpeckers pounding knock

Two AM
And there is no sound
Silence
Only silence
Except those voices
Voice that will not die
Silence without quiet to be found

On to three AM
Laboring just to breath
Gasping
Only gasping
Not even knowing why
Is there really a reason
In this world of living death

Four AM
Closing eyes brings but torment
Nightmares
Only nightmares
Of hopes that pass by
Of faiths that only die
And continue the ever deeper decent

Now passes five AM
The waited sleep still stays away
Silence
Only silence
Disturbed by the hearth
As it thunders in the dark
Nocturnal demons all you can obey

Six AM
World becomes live once more
Once more
Always once more
Enter that world an outcast
World that tossed you aside
If it ever lets you in to begin with
Until once more that silence
Of midnight
Starts into your mind bore


G - June 2009

Follow

Night stuns the sight
Awash with the gleam of stars
Far from thoughts of man
How it marks time with mars

Thunder peels its sound
Echoes through the canyon walls
Storm howls with quiet voice
With haunting voice at soul it calls

Torrent of water flows
As rain the feeds swollen river
Barrier against advance
Beneath the lunar waning sliver

A single bird calls warning
Claiming that path is not the way
But like so many others
It has never really had a say

For through all the view
Only one star calls spirit to motion
Be it folly or resolution
Residual deception of romantic notion

That route is the only road
Left that leads to destinations foretold
So that path life has dictated
Is followed by one with soul long sold.



G - June 2009

Paths

When is it time to leave a place?
How can one truly ever know?
When is it time to just move on
To not look back, to just go?

The list of reasons for me
To not be in this place is long
Most simple to sum them up:
I simply do not belong

Fast than the clock moves
My body grows old
While to those I love
Memories of me grow cold

Old before what should be time
But still this body trails my mind
It is failing now so quickly
The calendar is so unkind

A lifetime I have spent preparing
Always for the future distant
A future that never comes to be
Just more time fruitlessly spent

I put aside my wants and dreams
In favor of my responsibilities
Following other’s rules and wishes
Allowing to evaporate other possibilities

Always just one more year
One more hurdle to pass
Never turning a corner
Always more cares amass

Finally I shouted no more
I will not follow that way
It is not on me to only give
Without even having a say

I tried to shed responsibilities
That others burdened on me
Make choices for myself, by myself
One time have my own wishes to be

But those plans and fantasies
I allowed others to crush each one
Things I promised myself
Life made sure I would reach none

I have had enough of such things
I will not take any more
Those things are no longer mine
It is no longer my chore

I am old. I am tired
I do not want to start again
But I will no longer just sit and serve
Is that really such a sin

If it is, so be it
Because no longer am I life’s slave
I do not have much longer
And all I have to give, I gave

I said to many long ago
I stayed because I had something to do
I would try to answer the call
But what was the call I had no clue

I have since done some things
Help occasionally I’ve been able to give
And it has helped within me feel
I still had purpose in life to live

I cannot truly not though say
That I know I still have that call
I think I have reached the point
I may have now given my all

I may be wrong, in what I see
But the end of the path seems near
As I listen to the world around me
The song coming to me is not of fear

If I continue the way I have
It has only one path to follow
One without any draw for me
Just more of life’s pills to swallow

But now I can take a turn to the left
Or there is a fork that also leads right
I am not sure yet which I will take
Because their destination is not in sight

The one that is straight there is no doubt
That destination is much too clear
It only holds more of burden’s chains
Pain that pierce as deep as a spear

There are many places in life to be alone
Often filled with people all around
Places filled with the constant din of voices
Where your own throat cannot make a sound.

Never can one be so alone
As in a crowd that does not care
Considers you but in the way
Steals anything you try to share

I live in isolation and indifference
Lonely but never truly alone
With days passing by unnoticed
Unable to tell you if sun had shown

I would rather be by myself
As I try to find my way
Than pretend anything will change
As I try to keep despair at bay

What will find on that path
Where it leads is a mystery
But the other option is see:
Continue reliving painful history

I may meet friends I know only here
And in the recesses of my mind
I may once more end up regretting
The things I again leave behind

On that path there may be a river
Mountains, and a quiet lake
I don’t know what I want to find
Life will change with each step I take


G - May 2009

Crystals

Crystals form like jeweled life
Grow from the constricting frame
Patterns that blur the view
While binging sight clear

The royal black of a darkless night
Winter’s light bent through the blankets
Snow and clouds that freeze the air
Surreal held at bay by the fragile pane

Lifeless world built on the still
A sea of gentle harshness
Cutting the flesh
Soothing the mind

World on nothingness and silence
Filled with images of a time lost
Of what could and should and was
But held no more reality than shadow

Demon spirits of hope and dream
Dance on the sea of imagined bliss
Passing off fantasy of a destined truth
Spiked by the delusions of spite.



G - April 2009

Demons

與填滿頭腦的魔鬼作戰
不能被遺留的過去時中
投射在旁邊，僅僅另外一沒什麼東西
透過一個世界那不跟我一起唱歌

Fighting Demons of the mind
Unable to leave the past behind
Declared to be but a nothing
While the world without me can sing


G- March 2009

Forty-nine years

Forty-nine years walking the Earth
Forty-nine years of fighting alone
Hope followed by disappointment
About the only things known

The task of being to lend others
Hoping someday to have a hand reach back
Never seeming to learn it would not change
Trying to give them the support they lack
A common thread to ignore I too have care
Not able to understand life will not be fair

Forty-nine years walking the Earth
Forty-nine years of fighting alone
Hope followed by disappointment
About the only things known

The path presented through the dark
Each dream that form in the night
Falls to my failure or lack of worth
Every step in life turns into mired fight
As darts bite flesh as I inch along
In a world is simply do not belong

Forty-nine years walking the Earth
Forty-nine years of fighting alone
Hope followed by disappointment
About the only things known

Will grows weary and hopes fail cold
As throw my mind rings saying old
You can’t win, you can’t break even
You can’t even quit the game
Trite is sounds, but true it bites
As yet another effort turns the same

Forty-nine years walking the Earth
Forty-nine years of fighting alone
Hope followed by disappointment
About the only things known


G- March 2009

Just A Pin Prick

Just a pin prick
No one will know
Just across the surface
No one can tell

Draw the edge slow
Not to go deep
No need to bleed
Someone might notice
If it does more
Than just a seep

Looks like but a scratch
But it fills the need
Draws to the flesh
The sensation of pain

Distraction from other cares
Facts that on the mind wears
As those nerves on the skin
What is one more scar
That no one will see
Only from you to know
That once more there was
Too much to take

Serrated, that is the trick
Those edges cut more
While marking less
Searing like heat to flesh

Maybe a tattoo
Maybe more than one
To feel those pinpoint
Drive the feeling home
While others do not know
It is the pain you seek
Not the image left behind

Just a needle to the palm
That works just as well
And can be done over again
With no one to tell

Just one more scar
To represent one more day
One more survived
One less to stay

Just a little pin prick
No one will know
No one will care
No one to tell.



G- March 2009

Mars

Circlet of tarnishes in the metal
Device of destruction
And to bring down game
Stock marred with scratches
The wear of use by one now gone
Beating of treks in wood an field
Corrosion the price of long use
Those little circles of tarnish
Forming a pattern of no meaning it seems
Just rust on a device unkept
While to others, those marks
Might me be the last trace
Of the one that owned that device
Before it was passed forward
To one those marks of the fingers
Mean more that the device
Which others think they mar

A strand of hair
Left in a brush
Different in call than the rest
Lighter and longer
Clearly not of the same source
Standing out from the dark discards
It would make no sense to most
Only a hair left behind
A stray hair left unintended
No longer a care to its owner
To most, it would not even be noticed
But to one, is reminds
That which is lost

Scrap of cloth
Kept for years in his pocket
Often held in hand
In the dark of night and mind
Discolored satin to him,
To others just at scrap
Not even a rag
Little more even than lint
Stained to yellow by time and touch
Folded there beneath bills
Existence unknown by others
Meaning would escape even if seen
Significance only to one
Who kept it to remember
When time seemed more kind

Feathers in a vase
Set upon a shelf
Ratty and torn
Void of apparent use
Marked in mud when discarded
By the innocents that once owned them
Saved for some reason
Held now in a jar
Mined by mites slowly
To skeletons and bare quill
Just as time slowly strips
All memories of good
Erases the past
Leaving only the dark


G- March 2009

Red Wall

Red wall in the wind
For rest, to keep out noise

The child leans against the wall
Casting shadows in the sun

Wood stained to color the world
Define a sanctuary from chaos

Place of safety form the fear
That seems to define life without

Peace within calming, serene
The horrors without not to be seen

That wall of red to keep out wolves
That otherwise would be at the door

A fence of red to keep out harm
Bounce that ball in security

Under sky without gray
Safety, sanctuary the from attack

The illusion that reality can be held back
By a wall of wood colored red

Who is actually being kept safe
The child, or the world

G- March 2009

Trust

Trust is a gift above all things
A sharing of all the future brings
Turning over of soul and mind
Believing you will receive in kind
But requires others to also be true
As you were for them, be there for you
When it fails and leave naught to cling
Trust is a curse that destroys all things



G- March 2009

Star Of Hope

Point of light in the dark recesses of the mind
Star of hope for one who for so long has been blind
Lead the hopeless out from the endless despair
Back from the brink towards the land of those who care

Eyes asparkle as jewel light in the bleak night
Glimmering specks to lead the beggar weak of sight
Lost soul submerged and descending the steps to hell
Heart lost into nonbeing in a bottomless well

Destiny cast aside without reproach of vows
Promises forever lost with no trace of marouse
Fate left in the wake of a trailing stream of waste
After briefly heavens bliss was allow a taste

Sunlight obscured indefinitely from view
All assurances of future die in the blue
The moon turning its face with embarrassed, disgraced
The chasm of trust in destiny once more misplaced

Weary of the trail of wandering without end
Seeing only insignificant life to extend
Blackness with only that tiny flickering star
The soul crushed again in fires of hell that char



G- November 2008

Diminish

The world is once more diminished
With the loss of those as should not
While lesser creatures that do harm
Spoil good things other hands wrought

Son of denstiny and bound by word
Brother of faith, defender true
Fought with heart and belief to defend
Fell alone in the morning dew

Eyes of a mother fair and generous
Grieved for her flesh she had raised
Less for lost of protecting her
Valiant not, nor fell to great praise

Past should have taught them well
To serve others first and defend
For those too weak to fight themselves
Of their own choice their blood spend

The thieves of good and life
Not content taking the best in fight
Defile what is good and innocent
Creep and slaughter in the night

Dreams of future and memories past
Taken by cowards, the vermin swine
Right never though once cowered
But fought and pealed warning chime

Still that will fell in that field
Defended while head-on meeting fate
But matter not right or wrong in life
Truth can oft be felled by hate

Together, they will be together
As rightfully is should always be
Arm in arm, in their eternal embrace
Joined in love spirits always free
Even if it only beyond this life
Or in the delusions of fantasy.


G- November 2008

Flower of the Maiden

Lady with eye pure and the sparks of stars
Silver flowed her gown of silk and gems
Maiden fair of face and pure of heart
At peace in the wood, hidden by steam



A lad of the land, neither noble nor proud
Met the Lady by field in the spring air
The talk of dreams and hopes they shared
And the snare of love captured his mind

With kiss stolen in the still of one day
The two made plans, exchanged vows
And he was forced to take a leave
To find a way to make a home

His maiden he left behind that day
As bittersweet tears stung at their eyes
They both knew he would keep his word
And wait for her in the secret wood.


G- November 2008

Siren Stream

The sweet melody of the siren stream
Melts ones mind in the glories of dream
Peace and rest for tired spirit it does bring
While the breezes through willow leaves sing
To the chorus is added the song of birds
That poets struggle to transform into mere words
Though justice he can never give that song
He will grasp to try to remember long


G- November 2008

Caterpillar

Caterpillar, funny worm
Moves between leaf and twig
Fuzzy little crawling fellow
Moves slowly without care

Graceful as it flies by
The butterfly in flight
Lands near Caterpillar
The brief sunny hour to share

The woolly worm then feels
An emotion never known
Jealousy at the beauty
The wings without compare

Why do you come to mock
To show up my ugly garb
Not invited you were to land
And intrude my space there

The butterfly laughed at him
And said she did not mean harm
Was just trying to be friendly
If offensive would move on

But he thought the other knew
That changes were coming soon
And then he would understand
When his new garb he would don

The fussy insect snorted
As he slowly crawled away
And the butterfly did sigh
And fluttered into air

That eve the caterpillar
Deep chill upon his core
Curled up into a leaf
Formed a comfy lay up there

But in the morn he woke not
At least not all the way
He did not seem to care
It seemed right to be at rest

Finally he awoke
Slumber of a length unknown
He only knew he felt strange
In a space so compressed

Breaking the confining shell
Almost tipped when he felt air
Looking up above his back
Saw majestic yellow wings

Then he fully understood
That a butterfly was he
The other did not mock him
Soaring to the air he sings


G- November 2008

Objects in the rearview mirror*

Stealing From Meat Loaf

The skies were pure and the fields were green
And the sun was brighter than it's ever been
But it was still just an illusion that could never be
A closeness of fantasy I never really knew

It was always summer and the future called
We were ready for adventures and we wanted them all
And there was so much left to dream and so much time to make it real

But I can still feel the sting of all the tears so long
From a mind that crashed and burned
I know I'll never learn why
A fate should die so young

We were racing, we were soldiers of fortune
We got in trouble but we sure got around
There are times I think I see the future in the dark
But truth was right behind me and gaining ground

But it was long ago and it was far away, oh God it seems so very far
And if life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are

And when the sun descended and the night arose
I heard as destiny cursed everything I’ve ever known
The path was dangerous and drunk and defeated
And corroded by failure and envy and hate

There were endless winters and the dreams would freeze
Nowhere to hide and no leaves on the trees
And the eyes of the night were blank
As life hit me again and again and again

I know I still believed faith would never leave,
But reality had left me all alone
So many fears, so much pain
So many wasted years in a life that could never be my own

And though the nightmares should be over
Some of the terrors are still intact
I'll hear that ugly coarse and violent voice
As hell grabs me from behind and pulls me back

But it was long ago and it was far away, oh God it seems so very far
And if life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are

There was a beauty living on the edge of town
And she always put the top up and the hammer down
And she taught me everything I'll ever know
About the mystery and the muscle of love

She needed help while the stars glimmered
And the moon shared glow peering through the night
And I took a back seat with my Angel in need
Abiding my turn for the joys of life

Those were the rights of spring and we did everything
There was salvation for us both within sight
We got our dreams reborn and our chains were broke
I had chosen a path that was finally right

Then my world came down with a resounding crash
And in the pain of my mind I reached for that hand
But it was withdrawn, no help was insight
Once more I was alone to deal in the dark

But it was long ago and it was far away, oh God it seems so very far
And if life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are

Then my world came down with a resounding crash
And in the pain of my mind I reached for that hand
The help had been a one way street in the night
Just like always it would ever be.

But it was long ago and it was far away, oh God it seems so very far
And if life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are

G- February 2009