One Way Life Only

Why must I never be worthy
With naught that I can ever do
To earn merit of anything fair
No reward in the end, never life’s prize

I long have given without asking any return
Only to learn that would be what would occur
Always assuming that others would give in kind
I would receive back kindness in turn as I gave

The truth was other, they would indeed take
With no thought that even appreciation should be paid
Maybe some kindness at least in helpful words
But returning fair measure was never in store

These things were truths of my whole world
Daily occurrences from all who were near
Fact that slowly beat down the strongest of will
Stole all strength to continue the fight

It was what had been learned from the time of birth
To serve others was the measure of a man’s worth
Always was told that eventually his time would come
Role model and forefather should have shown truth

The good man he followed he watched live for others
Family and friends, all aided without hesitation
But part of that message of this duty was missed
The fact that it killed him without mercy in the end

Still he tried to model his goals and actions
After the one he admired through life
Learning the art of self sacrifice without return
Only to find how many were willing to oblige

This process his mind slowly laid bare
Spirit crushed as his efforts were never enough
Finally he just gave up any real hope at life
Resigned to just work until he returned to dust

His ending planned out to many details
How it would be, what few would be welcome
Seen many times, knew the grieving to be mock
The only true part would be the loss of a slave

Then something happened, another was found
A person demanding, true, but different than others
More like the one so could understand the plight
Who lived what appeared much the same life

She was in need, and wanted a change
He held her hand and gave her comfort
This she needed, something denied by others
He gave willingly as always, as always will

This time was different, he did not give without asking
He gave pledges of love undying and devotion
But also asked for pledges of return of the same
A partnership in life as neither had before known

She was in torment and in great need
Abandoned by those she had expected to help
He gave without reservation but at a great sacrifice
But with promise also he would receive the same

Abandoned in favor of this new beginning
Was all he had worked for and all that he loved
For what he now knew was his destiny in life
What had been waited for through long bitter pains

He could hold strong and held her through the need
But his fall would come soon and he also would need
This was understood, and spoken about aloud
With pledges that this would be done in the joining

And it was known to be true, this time it was real
The two of them shared a common reality they knew
And when the fall came he held out his hand
But the hold was not there, she had run from that land

A return to the very ones that had not been there
Who in her need had not shown understanding or care
Worse than that they had been vile and cruel
And when she improve they broke down her will

Attacked her with duty and twisted memories of past
Ignoring the things they did that had driven her away
They blamed illness, hers and the other as well
And stole from their love and used all control

Manipulated through medicine and substances
Controlled by monitoring, theft, and blame
Threats were issued to her both known and not
Physical and mental and to their very life

And again he was a loser, this time most cruel
For this time he was sure there would be follow through
And this time the break was complete and unhealing
Years of torture to the mind all finally reach the limit

Tortured and broken then tossed aside yet again
Once more a nothing in life’s ride of cruelty
Reaching for help promised that just wasn’t there
This time it was full trust that was pulled away

Why is the past with its twisted pain and failings
A place from which rescue was asked and granted
More controlling of will and has more a hold
Than the prospect of a future of dreams to share

Why do promises of years long since past
That had failed and were set aside for new chance
Be given priority over promises newly made
With full knowledge of what was being set aside

Why is it so hard to hurt one who wasn’t there
One who thinks they own and for only themselves care
While turning aside the one who gave their all
Fully knowing what they are doing to mind and soul

Just once more thrown aside without recourse
Used up of sacrifice, body and all pride
Left alone in the wasteland of his mind
To fend for himself to heal are not as may be

Alone in the world once more to roam
With a taste of what dreams could have been
Have fantasy and illusion come to life
Only to lose it and hope of it ever to find.