I’m Tired

I’m tired
Each day is just so long
The ogres hurl rocks from above
Crushing every thought of love
Squelches all sounds of song
It makes one tired.

I try
To ward off this attack
To work for all that is right
To return to things that might
Things that should be back
I try, but I’m tired

I dread
The endless bitter night
Alone haunted by the facts
To wonder about those past acts
Gone, without even a fight
I’m just tired

I wish
It was not this way
I give everything I have: I give
But these demons continue to live
And still, nothing will I say
I am too tired

I try
But the walls all close in
They stifle every gasping breath
Squeeze thoughts with a grip like Death
Sap will to ever start again
They leave me tired

I’m tired
I reach out my hand for help
As I sink in the mire of despairs
Curse the others who have no cares
As the pains make your mind yelp
I’m so tired

I’m tired
Every breath is a helpless grind
Each thought a labor back breaking
A smile is not even worth making
There is nothing left in the mind
I’m tired.

I hurt
I wish I didn’t care
But I can never stop how I feel
Even when treated like a heel
She knows I will be there
I am so very tired

I am
But I can’t help who I am
I’ve tried so hard to understand
Only to get hit by another hand
I just wish someone gave a damn
I’m tired

I’m weary
Feels like my back has broken
I am like an emptied glass
Heart ripped by a gaping slash
I even leave truths unspoken
I’m just too tired

I care
Sometimes more than I can bear
Life is happy to continue only to take
And leave nothing but to ache
Somehow fooled to expect fair
I just had to care

I am so very tired
That life pledged
That fate together dreamed
Too good to be as seemed
And always the bet was hedged
It has left me so tired

I’m tired
I only beat my head against the wall
Cry at night alone in thought
Realize it has all been for naught
No one will answer that nightly call
Still, I’m tired

I stand without help
Without the friend I found
Without the lover I could please
Without the one with whom I was at ease
Without her to whom my life I bound
I am only tired

I stand without hope
Dreams haunted now by the lost
Visions of the truth I fully know
But which by promise I let go
In trusting, in hope, I paid the cost
Paid until I’m tired

I am just fantasy
Lover’s dream is all, I seem
Mistaken to think it was true
That I could ever satisfy you
Though I tried to treat as queen
But I am left tired

Was promised
So many things, so fair
A whole life ahead to share
We could make all that we dare
A rare but truly fated pair
It leaves me tired

I’m tired
I have no more, I gave my all
Not good enough again to win the race
I have no need to try to save face
I can hear the trumpeter’s call
It’s time and I’m tired

I gave
And somehow thought
It all was so right
Thought it just might
Be what you too sought
I gave it all

I took
Or at least it tried
I reached and touched air
The thing I sought wasn’t there
Much of me then died
As I grew tired

I am so very tired
All I want is to rest
Sleep the peaceful sleep
Of lovers in each other’s keep
Arms entwined like a nest
Lift life’s pains

But that it’s said will never be
The chance was just make believe
I am not real, just dreamed
Nothing as to me it seemed
Just some illness to relieve
And leave me tired

I wish to just fade away
In that blissful sleep for which I pray
As restful sleep with dreams restored
With the one who made me feel adored
But yet once more I just have no say
Even rest is robbed away

I am tired
I hurt, but more, I’m tired
Let me just rest, I’m tired
It is for the best, I’m tired
Dead and rotting to the core
I’m tired.

G - October 2008