Sight

Sometimes ‘tis better to not know
Sometimes ‘tis better to have no plan
To just accept it as it comes
To not know what will be until it has began.

Having sight can be a curse
Seeing what will be before it is
Without the ability to change the outcome
With no choice but to plunge into the abyss.

What good is seeing without the ability to change?
Without the right to pick what you will see?
It is a curse, not a gift, to see and to know
But with no ability to alter what will be.

I have seen too much in my mind.
Things I did not wish to know
Things that should not be, cannot be
Things that keep becoming so.

I try to direct my thoughts to subjects I what to be
Things I want to know, or hope are true
Thoughts and dreams I want to pursue
Plans we made for me and you.

But those things my mind will not let me see
Only subjects that are better left out of view
Visions of sorrow and trouble and loss
These I am allowed in advance to construe.

For years my dreams were shut off
To keep me from seeing before they occurred
But a switch was thrown and they are turned on again
And I have back a gift even I find absurd.

Unfortunately, I see only things that will be
Things of sorrow and misery and pain
Things that only others have a chance to change
Things that leave one ready to go insane.

How to turn it off again I do not know
These things have enough pain without knowing them in advance
What good is it to know, when for changing them
There is no chance.

It might be possible
If anyone else would believe
Then some change
We might achieve.

But the knowledge I have
I cannot share
I do not dare
They do not care.

G - January 2008