Life A River

In a life like a River
Flowing forward always and ever
Without hope of anything other
Than what has always been, no changes, ever
Just the unstoppable flow of the River.



Always there was unspoken and dreamed
A place unlike all past known and seen
A vision of living in a world happy it seemed
A world unreal that only could be dreamed.

Others lived in such a place, but it's a place some can only watch
It was not a dream he ever would be allowed to catch
Longed for vision, that green grass and blue sky patch
But it was behind locks that the world kept latched
Longed for, Dreamed of, but only to be watched.

In a world of toil bound to an anchor
The River eroded the world while he could only labor
Marshes and meadows and even a harbor
Surrounded this world, just out of reach, he restrained by a burdensome chain
Never to reach and in that land reign.



Winter wind cuts the mind like ice
To the very core with slice after brutal slice
Every step toward any goal is paid a heavy price
No payment or merit would ever suffice
Bound only to be met with hearts of ice.

Drained by life, seeming to die to the very soul
A person with no chance to every feel whole
Locked in a prison without any parole
Lack of hope took a slow but steady toll
Sapping the final strengths from the soul.

In deep night he would quietly howl
Low in the being grew a silent growl
Addressing life with almost a constant scowl
Feeling life presented only that which was foul
And thoughts could only echo in his head in a painful howl.

Nights were haunted by a pair of eyes
Seen since youth, but knowing this was a dream of lies
Thoughts conveyed by those visions were but a guise
Of something that had no chance to arise
And still haunted by the image of those glittering eyes.

A friend was found, innocent and sweet
A person with whom to talk, laugh, and greet
Idle words enjoyed, friendly, open and all discreet
But behind it they knew, there was more, and he feared to meet
Though they were only friends, innocent and sweet.

Through trepidation, finally agreeing, they met
Instantly the die was cast and their fate was set
Even though nothing had happened, they were already wet
There was never a doubt, this was not an idle threat
That union was a given, those eyes were known long before they met.

Set in ways and not one to gamble
But life was a mess, like a wild bramble
All direction long ago lost, no goals, just a shamble
And quickly chose, it was time to set all aside for this gamble.

She was an object of very fantasy
Come to life as a stark reality
It did not take long to know this was destiny
It presented problems and not just of triviality
But it was also real and not fantasy.

She was his long looked for fate
An unexpected and unlooked for finding of his soul mate
Together a new life they agree to create
And it was not lightly they chose and not without debate
But jointly they chose to accept their fate.

To her, he pledged his very life
To soul, and to her, he declared her his wife
Cast away all other things like a flick of a knife
Knowing but ready to accept the oncoming strife
This was not with thoughts idle, it was for all of his life.

Then the story went wrong
And crushed the song.

Duty and vows to another
Fears and worries that smother.

The world stepped in and tore them apart
When their new life had not even had a chance to start.

And he is alone in the very abyss
Worse than his worst nightmares all is amiss.

He can only hang on and hope to cope
At a loss, without faith, friendship, or hope.

Sight

Sometimes ‘tis better to not know
Sometimes ‘tis better to have no plan
To just accept it as it comes
To not know what will be until it has began.

Having sight can be a curse
Seeing what will be before it is
Without the ability to change the outcome
With no choice but to plunge into the abyss.

What good is seeing without the ability to change?
Without the right to pick what you will see?
It is a curse, not a gift, to see and to know
But with no ability to alter what will be.

I have seen too much in my mind.
Things I did not wish to know
Things that should not be, cannot be
Things that keep becoming so.

I try to direct my thoughts to subjects I what to be
Things I want to know, or hope are true
Thoughts and dreams I want to pursue
Plans we made for me and you.

But those things my mind will not let me see
Only subjects that are better left out of view
Visions of sorrow and trouble and loss
These I am allowed in advance to construe.

For years my dreams were shut off
To keep me from seeing before they occurred
But a switch was thrown and they are turned on again
And I have back a gift even I find absurd.

Unfortunately, I see only things that will be
Things of sorrow and misery and pain
Things that only others have a chance to change
Things that leave one ready to go insane.

How to turn it off again I do not know
These things have enough pain without knowing them in advance
What good is it to know, when for changing them
There is no chance.

It might be possible
If anyone else would believe
Then some change
We might achieve.

But the knowledge I have
I cannot share
I do not dare
They do not care.

G - January 2008

Spiral

See the great Hawk soar
Assured of its ever expanding dominion
Master of all it can discern
Effortless
Using the very wind as but one more of the tools at his command
Master
Owner
Regent
Patriarch of its world
Perspicacious
Insouciant
Circling at will
Resting when inclined
Never inert
Always observant
Always in control.

See the Man
Caught in a spiral
Propelled by the thrust of the wind
Without recourse, at its very mercy
Impotent to his surroundings
Unalterably contested for his very breath
Controlled by all nature and Man with no will at his own command
Dominated
Burdened
Entrapped in a whorl of existence
Without slumber
Enfeebled
Ineffective
Without control.

Envious of the soaring raptor
Resentful while in wishful awe
Desirous of a portion of that self-determination
For control of his own fate
Locked in a slow spiral without choice
Into a deepening blackness
An emptiness
Enveloping
An all encompassing nothing that is a life bereft
See the Hawk
See him soar
From the vantage of my void.


[i][size="1"]G - January 2008[/size][/i]

Farewell To A Flower Of Life

Daisy's Song

Eldest of offspring,
Femme of indomitable spirit
Survivor
Opinionated
And vision of floral splendor.

Hardship and terror
Greeted this innocent far too early in life
Battered
Bruised
Daisy proved strong beyond belief.

The sweet and gentle girl
Was met with mistreatment and abuse
Torture
Ingratitude
Indignities beyond description in good taste.

When the hidden conditions were finally discovered
The rescue was swift
The retribution extreme
The innocent was recovered and pampered and healed
As she deserved and should have always received.

She been broken by, and survived what should have never been
Injured and betrayed
But she persevered through the unthinkable
Refusing to even acknowledge pain and discomfort
Never to surrender, never to give in.

With care she recovered beyond hope
Never to be whole again
But always a blessing to those she would meet
A miracle of survival
A queen of perseverance and joy.

Back that was broken

Healed to function if not straight
Hip and wing were never again fully right
But they still allowed her to sing
Torn skin healed from infection and invasion
And her spirit was never dulled.

Time however is hard to defeat
And given the earlier price paid
Age comes faster to some than deserved
Arthritis and time attacked old wounds
Back and hip gave out despite her fight
But never her desire and pleasure of life.

Cold attacked her with winter chill
Requiring she be given special care
And heat of summer hit her with bitter pain
But she accepted her lot
Though not without complaint
Always willing to express her opinion
About her unfair fate.

She was moved to a new home
With new comforts and those to provide care
To ease her pains
Provide hope and attention
Amusements of young
And new friends to keep her company.

But time catches all in the end
And will only be held away for a while
Eventually all must give in
To the great equalizer
There are limits for all
And an end to all things.

On the Eve of Christmas
Holiest of Holiday nights
Daisy was given a gift most fitting
That of passing quietly in the night
Surrounded by her friends
Providing caring warmth
They gently kept her company
In her final moments

She was set free
A spirit separated from her pain
To once more walk straight
And move about with ease.
To rejoin her best friend
One who loved grapes like no other.

She was now set with a choice
To stay with new friends
Or find old lost ones
That had not survived
That frightful night of her past.

They have visited me
As they move them one each night
To relay their fate
To tell me they are now at rest
And that it is all for the best.

Together as a group, they are a family again
I am happy for her and for all of them
An end to her pain and forgiving to all that caused it
Her spirit is both free and whole.

Because of her and many others I will never be the same
Though there are many that find these words insane
A tiny thing to others, and so to them it might be
But I know I will meet their spirit again someday
And until then I know where they are
Where they reside and play
And I will meet them there one day.




Daisy and Grape Monster, her best friend who is with her and her lost siblings.

Lasting

Some things last for generations.
Others for merely instants.
Fame, pleasure, a joke,
These things are brief.

Pain, loss, missed opportunities,
These tend to linger but they too pass.
Memories though,
These last through the rest of our lives.

Foreigner

A lost soul in a foreign world
A place he did not belong
A world of joy and cheer
A place he knew only from song.

He was greeted by an angel, a dream, a thought
He met a figment of his imagination and found it was real
They met in a fantasy, and formed a union of mind and soul
And with but one kiss that union they would seal.

A world that was foreign,
In which he was an intruder
A place where people were allowed to be happy
A world into which he pursued her.

A gentle stroke of fingers across her face
Lightly over closed eyes and silky lips
Caused eyes to roll in bliss
From the simple touch of finger tips.

Touching hands, just ever so slight
Only palm to palm and finger to finger
Was an exchange of electric force
Exploding while the touch would linger.

A world where he found himself a foreigner,
An outsider, an interloper
A place where people were allowed love
A world into which he was an intruder
A universe he did not know
Was not welcome to see
Had not been invited
Where he was not supposed to be.

The bond was real
A joining determined by fate
It was something beyond his hopes
A finding of his life's soul mate.

A promise, a vow, a plan, and a dream
And many more plans for all time they shared
Plans for today and tomorrow
And for all of forever that they cared.

But it was a world that was foreign,
In which he was an intruder
A place where people lived with joy
And still into that world he pursued her.

A universe for which he did not know the rules
Where he was not welcome or wanted
He had not been invited nor was he allowed
He was expelled and his very thoughts were haunted
That joining was torn apart
Ripped asunder
Like a flash of lighting
And with the roar of thunder.

The greatest thing he could ever know
The images of dreams he had seen all his life
Had come to him in the flesh
Appeared like a vision through all the strife

That destiny was accepted as his purpose in life
As his reason for ever having brought into being
It was all real and true and right
That was clear to any eyes that could be seeing.

But the world did not agree, and attacked in full force
It struck back and refused that reality
It screamed sin, and duty, and any claim it could find
And hit with all force and self-righteous morality.

And he was expelled from a world
In which he was an unwelcome intruder
A place of peace and joy and bliss
A place where he left his heart forever
He was ripped from his fate, his destiny, his very purpose
Where he was not welcome and never wanted
He was left to wander in the remnants of his dreams
And his thoughts that were haunted
With the brief memories of what could
What should have been.

But life is not made of could have, would have, of should-have-beens
Life is set by rules of the many
Where majority rules to squelch the hopes of others
Where the dreams of one or two do not count as any.

Each make their own reality
Individuals form their own hope and dream
But they can find themselves helpless
When those with the power decide those thoughts to ream.

Destiny and miracles are real
I have seen and experienced their touch
But they can also be ripped away
And hearts and hopes can crush.

And all returns right to the world
The world of the happy and blessed restored
The outsider exiled to another place
Left to wander with the others of the desperate hoard
Those without love, or peace, or hope
With only dreams that they are not allowed to see
With but a brief taste, a tiny touch
Of the life that should be.

G - December 2007

Destiny

If destiny exists it is a frightening fate
It dictates a person has no real choice in life
Pre-determined, written before you enter that gate
Already decided, every beat of the drum, every tone of the fife.

What point is there, why make any pick
You have no choice, it is already known
There are no real changes you can make that will stick
It is just a game, it is all written in stone.

Self determination must be the route
For there to be any point from the start
We decide for our self how things will turn out
Ruled not by the stars, but by our minds and our hearts.

Responsible for the outcome of our own actions
To reap rewards or pay the price
We must own our own life, every transaction
Our means and ends are our own device.

But then there is another possibility
That your path is fixed but not so for others
Changing fate is beyond your ability
You are tied to the choices of another.

Worse still is for an unfortunate one
Who is one in just such a state
But with the added gift that can't be undone
To have foreknowledge of the outcome of fate.

No ability to alter your course
Dependant on someone else's choices
Able to see the outcome dictated by each source
Haunted by images and quite voices.

Seeing bits and pieces of how things will be
Seeing the alternatives, none of which you control
Knowing the truth and reality
But helpless to manipulate is a heavy toll.

As things stand, I know my fate
The place, the time, the method and date
Others could change their outcome with these facts
But I cannot change my tracks.

I made my pick now I’m locked in
I cannot, will not start again
I trusted my choices and fixed my way
I no longer have a say.