Gone

Breath so soft, thoughts burn warm
Yet my heart still heavy weighs
As I watch the rise of her breasts
And dread the waking dawn
For are know then returns the norm
When sight is pierced by Sun’s rays
Reality will again end the jests
And dreams of truth will be gone

Show me what exactly have I done
How is it that I committed a crime
I followed the path that was laid
Pursued that route that was my fate
When light returns she will be gone
Continues the punishment of time
For the jester’s part I’ve played
Daring to pass the forbidden gate

For but a bit I lie next to one
I loved long before I met
Time though with her is but
An illusion of the a play
A contest others already won
Only a lost gambler’s bet
Still I wait for the door shut
Wishing vision was still real
In the light of the on rushing day.


G - Dec '09

Poets Life For Me

Yo Ho! Yo Ho! It’s a poet’s life for me.
We pillage, we plunder, take words as our own
Dink up in the works of others
Reap the harvest they have sown
As long as we but make it rhyme

Yo Ho! Yo Ho! It’s a poet’s life for me.
We wrap up sights and feelings
Sum them up in a few words
Paint verbal views of healings
Even show truth some time

Drink up me friends, see what I see
Imbibe thoughts from within my sphere
Devils and demons from depths dark
Dreams of nothings the seem near
Yo Ho! Yo Ho! It’s a poet’s life for me.

Enjoy the visions that might come
Grasp at aromas and sounds you may
They are real! They are real! All!
Even if all truths otherwise say
Yo Ho! Yo Ho! It’s a poet’s life for me.

Yo Ho! Yo Ho! It’s a poet’s life for me.
Reality has not bearing on truth
The words do not have to all be my own
Beliefs do not requite proof
Fact does not defeat what is known
Yo Ho! Yo Ho! It’s a poet’s life for me.
Yo Ho! Yo Ho! It’s a poet’s life for me.


G - Dec '09

What Is A Friend?

As I leave for work alone
Not knowing what the weather
Was during the weekend past
As I exit the door
Accompanied by none
Except the shadow I cast

I wonder
With the voices in my head
Words no one else said
I wonder
What exactly is a friend

Holidays now spent
In imposed solitude
With but a few passing cheers
Quick greetings shared
Of Christmas wishes
Hopes of happy New Years

I wonder
With the voices in my head
Words no one else said
I wonder
What exactly is a friend

Lunch is now done
Spent once more with no one
Much as will be tonight
I guess I asked too much
When I opened my heart
So I’m better out of sight

I wonder
With the voices in my head
Words no one else said
I wonder
What exactly is a friend

I gave my every thought
Tried to heal all scars
Shared my deepest dreams
Stood in front of trains
None of that was wanted
Is what it now seems

I wonder
With the voices in my head
Words no one else said
I wonder
What exactly is a friend

As friend I’m one for whom
There is no end to what
I try to do for friends
And this, I have done
With all my ability
No matter what life sends

I wonder
With the voices in my head
Words no one else said
I wonder
What exactly is a friend

And so I sit alone
Pick a food and wonder how
My truths becomes such lie
Faith in friendship past
Into fantasies of child
Only the pain refuses to die

I wonder
With the voices in my head
Words no one else said
I wonder
What exactly is a friend



G - Dec '09

Silent Night

Silent Night, Holy Night
All is Calm, All is Bright
Hear the voices as they ring
Happiness and joy the bring
As the Silence strangles thought
For those which are only alone
Living the rewards of choice
Briars it seems all they have sown
The Silence of peace
They cannot share
Silence of aloneness
Beyond ability to bear

Silent Night, Holy Night
Gentle chimes, Say all is right
Round yon table loved ones meet
Join in joys as plans complete
While the Silence is pierced
By the Voices without rest
Very thoughts they consume
All Hopes become their fest
Voice of the angel host
For some always denied
Dreams of that One Day
Once more the world lied

And that Silent Night
Such a Holy Night
Another night to dread
In a night that is dead
Rules by the Voices of none
Hearing those songs, never sung
Seeing that mantel of life
On which the future was hung
But the gift was not returned
It was a lie that it would be fair
In the end, in the end
The night does not care

And the Silent Night, Holy night
All is calm, all is bright
All is well,
As the torture
Stays out of sight.



G - December 2009

Wishes for Christman

My first wish for Christmas is a seat in meadow’ed bend on a quiet stream.

My second wish for Christmas is two playing ducks, and a seat in meadow’ed bend on a quiet stream.

My third wish for Christmas is a three-hour nap, two playing ducks, and a seat in meadow’ed bend on a quiet stream.

My fourth wish for Christmas is four cups of mulled cider, a three-hour nap, two playing ducks, and a seat in meadow’ed bend on a quiet stream.

My fifth wish for Christmas is five golden dreams, four cups of mulled cider, a three-hour nap, two playing ducks, and a seat in meadow’ed bend on a quiet stream.

My sixth wish for Christmas is six melons to feed my lost geese, five golden dreams, four cups of mulled cider a three-hour nap, two playing ducks, and a seat in meadow’ed bend on a quiet stream.

My seventh wish for Christmas is seven songs for sharing, six melons to feed my lost geese, is five golden dreams, four cups of mulled cider, a three-hour nap, two playing ducks, and a seat in meadow’ed bend on a quiet stream.

My eighth wish for Christmas is eight magic manic cures, seven songs for sharing, six melons to feed my lost geese, five golden dreams, four cups of mulled cider, a three-hour nap, two playing ducks, and a seat in meadow’ed bend on a quiet stream.

My ninth wish for Christmas is nine nights of sleep, eight magic manic cures, six melons to feed my lost geese, seven songs for sharing, a three-hour nap, is five golden dreams, four cups of mulled cider, a three-hour nap, two playing ducks, and a seat in meadow’ed bend on a quiet stream.

My tenth wish for Christmas is a ten-course meal, nine nights of sleep, eight magic manic cures, seven songs for sharing, six melons to feed my lost geese, five golden dreams, four cups of mulled cider, a three-hour nap, two playing ducks, and a seat in meadow’ed bend on a quiet stream.

My eleventh wish for Christmas is eleven transports to get the to those which need it, a ten-course meal, nine nights of sleep, eight magic manic cures, seven songs for sharing, six melons to feed my lost geese, five golden dreams, four cups of mulled cider, a three-hour nap, two playing ducks, and a seat in meadow’ed bend on a quiet stream.

My twelfth wish for Christmas is twelve score or more of those I love to share, is eleven transports to get the to those which need it, a ten-course meal, nine nights of sleep, eight magic manic cures, seven songs for sharing, six melons to feed my lost geese, five golden dreams, four cups of mulled cider a three-hour nap, two playing ducks, and a seat in meadow’ed bend on a quiet stream.



G - Dec 2009

Family by choice

To my mental sisters
I’ve known only in imaginary homes
In a family related by choice
Visited only when spirit roams

Brothers not of blood
But by binds of thought
You have helped me to survive
Even when that was not sought

Mothers, Fathers, siblings
Rolls you chose to fill
Most important though, Friends
Providing strength to failed will

To you I spread my feeble wings
Towards those if virtually see
And those that from sight have passed
But in my heart will always be

I thank you now
With mere feeble word
For the times my very thoughts
You listened and heard

Thank you. G

Nightblind

Dark is the world of the blind
Those who will not
Those that cannot
Open their eyes and see
Deep is the night

Bright are the stars in the void
Eyes watching hurt
Beacons calling calm
Draw from the abyss of despair
From the deep night

But what when those gems fade
When their light falters
No longer lead the way
Even memories of dreams die
Leaving only the night?



G - Oct 2009

White Knight

Ride in from the west
On the wings of the wind
White knight so is told

I can’t remember now
What the path was before
I don’t see at all
Where next to go

Always available
To lend a hand
Lay the cape down
Shield from harm

Assure others go first
Defer his turn again
For the time he know
Will never come

I can’t remember now
What the path was before
I don’t see at all
Where next to go

The damsel in need
For a hand to be help
A shoulder to lean
A bed to share

Maiden in distress
To help escape evil
Renew a life reborn
Share dreams and fate

Till the live path ends
The damsel turns about
Shine dulls on the knight
Dismissed, his work done

I can’t remember now
What the path was before
I don’t see at all
Where next to go

Lady in pain
Soul in fear
Joined in mind
Though seated afar

Knight polishes armor
As best he can
Again braves for friend
Willing to give all

Till help again dulls
The need is gone
Or help used up
The knight is sent away

I can’t remember now
What the path was before
I don’t see at all
Where next to go

Knight from the west
Simply flays on the walls
In another kingdom
That welcomes no more

Wonders through wilds
Wishing but that time
Finally too would end
No place left calls his name

I can’t remember now
What the path was before
I don’t see at all
Where next to go

The knight
Sword lost long ago
Shield rusted in age
Seeking west the sea
To escape fate’s cold
He can’t remember
Where he has been
No longer cares
Where next to go



G - Oct 2009

Mist

Fingers of chill creep
Over the rise green
Advancing the unseen
Omen of fear deep

The call for the sea
Grips at the heart
Claiming soul depart
Never spirit to set free

Within that fog cover
Using its veiled shield
Fate choosing no yield
To harvest from its hover

As the sea come to claim
Souls without remorse
None safe in its course
Cares not of truth or blame



Fingers of mist advance
Souls taking as its own
Where one life hope shown
Driving home the lance


G- Sept 2009

Wood

Tree grew in the land
Place in far distant time
Rooted deep holding strong
Ignoring the clock chime

Defying storm and age
Chose not to leave at doom call
Tree cared not rules of span
Declined even the leaf fall

Imposed will against the force
While nature declared the crime
Continued in field of life to stand
Ignoring as the clocks chime

World changes with upheaval
Tempest came and turmoil
Ages slipped into the past,
Life returned to dust, to soil

Still that tree remained
While all that had been faded
Life long since was gone
To departure not persuaded

No longer standing upright
Still claiming the space
A throne to call its own
Forever to claim that place

A love of deep in the heart
A vow of how long to last
To show what would be
He called upon the past

Selecting for than ancient
A rock from wood long ago
Shared it with one adored
To profess that all would know

That fragment of a tree
Seeming to have been forever
To be matched by the time
Ere his love would sever



And it still endures true
To words without repent
Though ‘twas but a stone
Trivial to whom it was sent

So cast aside again
To now endure alone
Promise being a trifle
Without worth, mere stone.



G - Oct 2009

Where Are They Now

Where are they now
The friends of the young
Have things turned out well
Now that our parts are sung

We were joined in life
Friends for all time
Until the clock struck
That life faded into rhyme

Where are they now
Has life brought good
Would you return there
To that time if you could

Where are they now
Held your hand through fears
Gave a shoulder to lean
Stood beside you for years

Some were by chances
Fate brought on by birth
Those by choice their own
Found in you some worth

Where are they now
After than time has gone
Is they anyway to return
Or do only memories live on

Where are they now
For whom you gave all
Standing by you in your need
Or did they leave at your fall

Is forever of vow of faith
Or just and idle plea
Give strength to overcome
Not even slow the flee

Where are they now
Do they your life share
Do they even look back
Or leave without a care.



G - Oct 2009

Heart Beat

Heart beats within the chest
It slows no longer fighting fate
Will failed long in the past
Always too little, always too late

A long time ago in a land far away
It was ordained that life would be
Locked in a way or the ill of man
In stone was written that destiny
Path was set with traps to snare
Choices set to temp along the way
In truth though all forks led the same
The only reward continued dismay

Heart beats within the chest
It slows no longer fighting fate
Will failed long in the past
Always too little, always too late

Heart of will gave up long ago
Soul given away was gladly taken
Mild broken from the beginning
Dreams all folly for the forsaken
While the carrot of happiness held
By the hand of persuasion aglow
So the clown would follow behind
In end all for the world a show

Heart beats within the chest
It slows no longer fighting fate
Will failed long in the past
Always too little, always too late

I have fought the fight
Long past any scrap of will
Continued on without hope
To promises I hold still
Every hope died long ago
Last faith past from sight
Forgotten when mind gave in
Finally body surrenders the fight

Heart beats within the chest
It slows no longer fighting fate
Will failed long in the past
Always too little, always too late




G - Sept 2009

Rope

Eventually the end of the rope is reached
After enough action that cannot be taken back
Once ever trust has finally been breached
And the will can no longer stand the attack

When is it not longer a crime
To give in, to finally surrender
From a life void of reason or rhyme
When wounds become too tender

I give up
I’ve paid my bill
My cup
Has had its fill

Time has passed for me to move on
There is no destination left to seek
Hope in this world is finish, is gone
No more can I be societies freak

Truly I have located the end of that rope
Without strength or will to climb up again
With it the finish of destinies faded hope
I surrender, no more, I give up, you win.


G - Sept 2009

Over Rated

Sleep brings dreams
Closed eyes bring tears
Multiplies truth
Fuels the fears

Rest the regenerate
Once again
Punctuated by memories
Of what could have been

The touch, the look
The sharing that would last
Only to be ripped away
Thrown away as the past

Sleep brings dreams
Closed eyes bring tears
Multiplies truth
Fuels the fears

Images of hopes
Should have been trues
Lost plans of tomorrows
Now filled only with blues

Sleep brings dreams
Closed eyes bring tears
Multiplies truth
Fuels the fears

Fate has all deserted
Paths lead to dead ends
Always the same results
All life ever sends

Amplified when eyes close
Peace should come with slumber
Not visions of tomorrow
More burdens to encumber

Sleep brings dreams
Closed eyes bring tears
Multiplies truth
Fuels the fears
Sleep that is over-rated


G - Sept 2009

Hydra's Head

Rat that steals in the night
Defiling that which is not his
Without invite it enters in
Plunders not to fill want, but greed

Closed doors want to keep out
Vermin for whom locks mean naught
Content even to spoil what is left
In contempt of what others need

Kill him, murder that intruder vile
Snuff the life from that soulless thief
But the space will simply be filled
With two more of his demon seed

Snake that coils in hidden gloom
Poised to strike without alarm
To claim the prize that others earn
While biting at their exposed flanks

Spreading poison to unsuspecting foe
Naïve ambushed while unaware of plight
Believing even that viper were friends
Thus losing earned reward and thanks

Bringing down the blade to serpent
Does less than even stem the tide
Dispatch gives license upon more rats
And eager asps form up in ranks

Demons attack the mind in the dark
Grown bolder yet group for light of day
Rip at flesh, and thought, the very soul
Feasting on shards that remain of the heart

Stroke of blade and fell hammer blow
Can easily fall any one misbegotten
Ever though it seems as foretold
Two step in to play the fallen’s part

Rodents of life multiply without restraint
Snakes seem up to split at each stoke
As heads on the hydra of immortal dread
Feeding on the misery they wantonly impart.


G - Sept 2009

Memories

Memories
Should be forever
Burned in
Memories forever

The face of one known so long
A friend
So loved
Lives so intertwined
But it fades from your mind
Is lost
Is gone
To that face your eyes grow blind

Memories
Should be forever
Burned in
Memories forever

Voice that soothed your ears at night
Dried tears
Erased fears
Brought peace of lullaby
But that voice is fades from ears
Mere echoes
A whisper
Drowning in the din of too many years

The brush of lover’s gentle caress
So light
Such care
Bringing substance of fantasy
Till left alone with fading thoughts
Of promises
Of dreams
As fate denies loves ecstasy

Memories
Should be forever
Burned in
Memories forever

Eyes that carry their glimpses
Into the soul
Into the heart
Into the hold of pillowed silk
Visions of those eyes slowly dim
Their glow
Their life
Melts as sight clouds of milk

Memories of a future know as fate
Dreams
Hopes
Future written in stone
Crumble to dust and sand
Lost
Before fulfilled
Without even chance to atone.

Memories
Should be forever
Burned in
Memories forever



G - Sept 2009

My Angels

My angels that I miss so
Each came to me unexpected
Each with the thoughts of forever
To each my meeting was directed

My angels that I miss so
Into my mind and into my soul
My heart they could read
Of my thoughts each stole

A lover, long destined to meet
Since childhood I knew those eyes
But others pulled stings outside
Turning pure truths into lies

Saving hands others reached out
Pulling my from deep dark hole
But my friendship is seems
To maintain took too must a toll

I’ve lost each angel from my side
So I now often visit the abyss
The gift I believed to see the soul
Seem is more of a curse parti pris

So once more I trek only alone
Without an idea of direction to go
For I seem to have driven away
My angels that I miss so.


G - Sept 2009

My Cuz, My Friend

Goose is lonely
In a world left vacant
By actions of choice
Without chance of recant

Without the love
That he willingly spread
He expected return
Discarded instead

The help once given
Was simply then gone
Repeated again
Like the words in song

Understanding and care
Actions her shared
To those he trusted
Also cared

Again, and again
He repeats the refrain
With a common result
Actions simply vain

A lone voice helps
Truly keep him around
A long separated friend
Who cares for his sound

And he thanks her
Though she denies the fact
Just how much if means
They are back in contact


G - Sept 2009

Solitude Denied

Meditation in the sun
Absorbed in the light of day
Nude to the world
As first entered the fray

To Hell with the norms
That are force on man
By self appointed arbiters
With iron fisted hands

Disdain to the rules
Self righteous enforcement
Of their of petty comfort
By amuletted reinforcement

But all attempt of solitude
Met with defiance on every side
As world around you burns
Through efforts to hide

Fire burns the beauty
Smoke choking thought
Bringing fey solace
To the peace sought

Flame without purpose
Relentless to spread
Burning tree and reality
As life leaves the heart dear

Just one more hammer blow
To attempts to be free
Anvil applied once more
By destiny’s decree.



G - Sept 2009

End Of Times

Much as the soul
Plans of what seem long ago
Ripped from the heart
Left noting to show

No dreams were remains
Left only is reality
Destined it seemed
No longer they see

Left only are seemed
Promises to never bend
Now praying for time
Would finally end

The price to pay
Was always understood
And still not sure what
He would change if he could

Still at times he will pray
That he were not alive
The promised last breath
Would finally arrive

But still he will not
Break his love vow
Promise to never give up
To reality as seen now

So alone he sets
Forgotten with time
No real hope
Convicted of crime



G - Sept 2009

Recurring theme

You chose the course
Long you had forced to ignore
Finally gave in because
From live you wanted more

You could make this work
While anticipating the pain
For it help the worth
In what both could gain

Then as always your fate
Life forced to towards wrong
And being once more
Became a dirge of a song

This time destruction was worse
At the dismantling of life
Each attempt to recover
Only brought suffering rife

As always it seemed
Dreams were beaten once more
This time none anew
Replace as before.


G - Sept 2009

This Time

This time, I know
I bear not wrong
But still from me
Is ripped life’s song

Truth of destiny
Crushed without belief
Never is found
The sought relief

Fractured and lost
In a world without fair
It was not part of the plan
To have nothing to share

Even sanity
Now ripped away
Once more no chance
To have any say

Friendship was sought
More was found
This time he would not
Let more steal the sound

But still things were done
Experience said don’t do
But friends in his mind
Must try to come through

This time he did again
What he knew to be right
For always his care
Demanded help for the fight

All he could, he did
Always will for more
But still in the end
Ended with slammed door

Usefulness used in the end
Without warning or clash
Discarded as refuse
Thrown out with the trash

Noble intent to his mind
Seems it has not place
Only accepted for a time
Then thrown back in his face

Truth seems something
World does not regard
Or maybe truth is not
Understood by this bard.


G - Sept 2009

Snake

The snake chokes
On the mouse it ate
Unable to release
So resigns to fate

Despised by the world
Mourned by no one
Though it meant no harm
Never understood the shun

So unable to even
Crawl away and hide
His carcass picked clean
Sympathy denied


G - Sept 2009

I Remember

I remember
The first snow-lake of the fall
When I was still not
Three feet tall
How the wind cut at the skin
Sky stark streaked in gray
As winter’s chills begin
One lone flake swirled into sight
Toward a child’s waiting
Only for his delight

I remember
That birthday, when I was but turning one
I can still sometimes taste the cake
How that candle shone
I can still see who was there that night
Most are now gone in life
But not in my sight
I can still see the eyes of the one who loved me so
Can see that she knew how I felt at their words
Eyes showing hurt only she and I could know

I remember
When I first learned the hard lesson of having sight
What it meant to know events before others
To see before images met the light
Seeing with out the ability to do anything
Unable to stop or even to warn another
What the next day would bring
To see those I loved and I knew loved me
Be taken before their time had come
To be forced without logic to see

I remember
Seeing the eyes I was always destined to see
I saw them first when she was barely born
Just days later she showed herself to me
Staring at me from of a plastic doll’s eye
Blinking at be as stars in the night
Gleaming like jewels in the sky
Those eyes, always burned into my mind
Constant visits in my dreams at night
Reminding they were there to find


I remember
When I could no longer take the burden seeing
The past held more than enough pains load
To add events not yet brought to being
Somehow I brought those things to an end
No more would I see the hand of fate
In wait around life’s next bend
Until those eyes came back once more
In life this time, not just in my mind
Breaking the gates to my core

I remember
There was a time that I thought there was a plan
I remember
When my future was filled with dreams of tomorrows
I remember
Gates that were closed so I could not see those places
Filled with false hopes, overflowing with sorrows
I remember
So many things
What I can’t remember
Is how to forget




G - Sept 2009

Living In The Past

How does one avoid the past
When those events define who they are
How does one forget those things
Which clutch at the mind’s every mar

I choose not those things to see
I try to fill my thoughts with and other sight
Even when, for a while that works
I cannot even pretend to control the night

Go for days rejecting sleep
For a time that keeps away the voices, the sights
But after a time they simply gain
And have strength to punch through even day lights

I do not ask for these voices
Do you, or you
I do not want to hear the things they tell me
And what they say to do

Oh, but that too is imagination
Just ask the doctors, they will tell you
I just need to get over it
Find something else that I can do

I think tomorrow I will be
A fireman, yeah, that’s the life for me
That seems about as easy
As redefining all that my mind can see

Please, tell me how to stop them
These things I hear sounding in my head
It will change and get better
Or maybe everyone would better if I were dead

There, that window, jump on out
Don’t bother screaming, no one will hear
If you tell them it is coming
Maybe they will even so up to cheer

So please, yes please, won’t you tell me
How to stop this show
Tell me how to stop the things I’m forced to see
To stop believing what I know

This is such a fun life
The one-man clown show that I provide
A stage for monolithic fun
But I tire of the carnival freak trip I ride

Look at me, look at me
I will make you laugh, and will entertain
Then when you are done
Please pretend I was never there again

But your voices, those I will keep
And those words so easily forgotten they are for you
I will keep them always with me
To haunt me and visit always bleeding through

Please tell me, please help me understand
Where is the trick
To turn off the sounds, the visions, the thoughts
Only see the thing I pick.


G - Sept 2009

September Second

Two years ago today
A world was thrown away
By one who chose to hear
All that dreams could say

Two years ago so far away
Day broke through the night
World tilted axis askew
Creation finally made right

When years of fighting
Against a mind ill
With a world of pain
Through a broken will

Many years of struggle
Finally met with the reward
Of faithful search for truth
Struggles had pushed toward

Two years ago today
The clouds seemed to part
As souls took a path
Written on the heart

After months to share thoughts
Times crying and joining hands
Helping through crisis time
Minds join like melting bands

Finally fears were cast aside
Attempted escape their private hell
From imprisoned minds
Enslaving walls finally fell

Two years ago today
The entire world changed
All the past cast aside
The universe rearranged

Those that held as possession
Offering no help, only command
Forever forced to release control
Replaced by loving, caring hand

Together to approach the fight
Joined to tack on repair
With someone who understood
Someone who could care

Two years ago today
For the first time in life
Night spent arm in arm
As a man and wife

A union written in the stars
It seemed what was sought
The result of long searching
And all the battles fought

When tangled minds only see
Fantasies they themselves make
Only to be turned aside again
Till it is more than they can take

Two years ago today
Seemed the fulfillment
But delusional minds
Can see reality bent

Two years ago today
Bills were written that day
Charges against man and soul
Now the usual must pay

Two years ago tomorrow
The die was cast that set fate
When I allowed hope to win
And stepped through that gate

The steps of the solitary who believed
After years of dream failing by far
Believed that another also trusted
They could together reach that star

With truth he stated
That he meant never
Would not break that faith
Promised forever

Two years later life is sane
For every one, except one
One who chose to remain true
Follow promises to the end

Not even worthy of a goodbye
Showing again they are nothing
Their best efforts and truths
Silently on the world ring

So while others are able
To forget what was said
Pretend feelings were not real
Leave another for dead

One still cries themselves to sleep
On the rare occasion sleep is found
While images feed their sickness
And silence is their only sound

Two years later to the day
He wonders why he even rose
In a world that does not care
The little it even knows

Stripping off the last of the control
Events that set the final demons loose
Breaking what little was left his soul
Leaving not even the will to choose

Two years ago today
The outcome was known
The paths were discussed
But a tiny light shown

A trusting mind believed
That truth could one time win
Not recognizing he was already
Excluded from the decision

Unable to break his word
Unwilling to break his vow
He can only wait for time to end
And wish it were now

Two years later, to the day
For others it is just another day
While marking when he ended
To the real world, just another day

There are only a few
Two years later today
Who would be less happy
If he finally just went away

Two years ago to the day
It seems so very far away


G - Sept 2009

Anger Management

It is not the fault of the world
There is no requirement
That things go right
There are not guarantees in life
That things will be fair
That you can win the fight

I simply must manage
To control the thoughts
Keep control of my will
The outcome is not
Within ability to control
And the anger will only kill

Promises are but words shared
They carry no meaning
Their burden no weight
Hollow thoughts meant to sooth
Even when shared
With a soul mate

Expecting them to be true
To have meaning at all
Is delusional lie
Such fantasy will only
Feed that angry wall
That will not die

To survive requires the management
The ability to accept the loss
Survive and move on
Know that others do not see truth
That is clear in your eyes
Of truth, there is none

The anger consumes
Even when that is all you have left
To remember the hopes
That once filled your head
The plans of the day
The dreams of the night
Turned into dust in the wind
Left behind as one dead.


G - August 2009

Tick

Tick

Tick


Tick
One more second flicks by
On the clock
On the wall
Otherwise bare
As time crawls

Tick
It will not stop its march
Nor will it speed
Only that feeble crawl
That defies change
Defies control
And tics

The days pile
End to end
Seem to speed past
In the blink of on eye
While the clock
Just continues to Tick

Tick

Pages from the calendar
Litter the floor
As leaves in fall
Rain from the wood
From the land of life
Dead shadows of past

Years fall like rain in spring
With the ravages of the storm
Taking hope
Erasing dreams
Creating truth
From what once were lies

A lifetime it seems
Gone in a blink of the eye
Never even seemed to start
Before already lost
While the clock on the wall
Barely quivers
With its Tick

Tick

Time
With all of its hopes
Is gone
With the blur of lighting
But a flicker
In the heart of the storm

While the clock on the wall
Which could bring such relief
Refuses to yield
Will not release its hold
Its claim
And torture
With each crawling Tick

Tick

Tick.


G - August 2009

Lash

Thoughts of the selfish
Dreams of the damned
Rip to the fabric façade
A mind come unbrained

What happened to the person
Who tried to always help
The weight become too much
Or finally just get fed up

Without malice to any other
Without meaning any harm
Just wanting to punish those
And hating those thoughts

Dreams are now but ghosts
Haunting through the night
Just shadows of what was
Imaginations of wishful eyes

So let it burn to ashes
Before someone else wins
The prize that was denied
Life that was surely earned

Condemned to never be
The life that was sought
So allow it to no others
Unworthy even to breathe

They have perfect minds
Their life so simple and pure
What gives them the right
To treat others so wrong

Bind we with shackles
Hold any gain at bay
So lash out and take all
They cannot appreciate

They do not deserve it
All the peace and comfort
When they are at fault
For all joy being denied

Condemned the innocent
Locked into my cell
Lashing out seem the only
Escape from this hell.


G - Aug 2009

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is just another day
It gets better is what they say
Those who do not understand
Saying these things out of hand

Shake it off and move on
Are you any better yet
Can’t your doctors help
And tomorrow’s just another day

Yes tomorrow is just another day
One more penance we need to pay
Wonder why only some get the bill
Never seems to be paid in full

Each one seems to drag more
An endless stream of load
To carry on broken back
While tomorrow’s just another day.



G - Aug 2009

Pack

The hike has no point
Hiker has nowhere to go
Still he dons the pack
Probably will come back

Easy two-mile walk there and round
No need for dwelling strapped pack
But never to tell, he might just go
Without another backward glance

Punishment driving each step
Ignoring the water on his back
Through summers glaring heat
Side trips help stretch the miles

Should he try that steep grade
Down to river below that calls
His name clear in its every voice
Impossible decent beckons him

That one is a trip without return
Probably why the clarity of the voice
Does it take more strength to go
Or the effort needs to stay his feet

The pressed trip of that lost fool
Brings pain to hard pushed body
An ache sought to still feel alive
Without real desire for either



G- Aug 2009

Dark

Smoke filters down on the evening calm
Fire burns hills just as life the heart
Which is that really clouds all sight
The haze stinging eyes or that of mind

A fog rolls into the bay
Chilling bone as always
Cutting with drugged fog
Chilling mind and soul

Dark obscures sight
Take life from view
Dark deep of heart
Driving out the sun

Black hides
Brings fears
Drowns hope
Kills heart

Deep
Hole
Seems
No
Escape



G - Aug 2009

White Dove

White dove in the tree
Gentle song it for all
To life spirits ease the day
Help the soul feel free
White dove in the tree
Seeming devoid of trouble
Simple soul it seems
To whom only themselves see
White dove in the tree
With the world not knowing
Just how its heart bleeds
For them in silent plea
White dove in the tree

White dove on the eave
Sheds a tear for all to see
Shares aches for those around
The fables they believe
White dove on the eave
Observes life test the will
Of those trying to survive the day
Leaving faith slowly leaves
White dove on the eave
Long to others pain to ease
Wanting only help relieve
Help once more dreams believe
White dove on the eave

White dove in the air
So free we see as it soars
Blind to the weight it bears
Trying to take away our care
White dove in the air
Sees only a world of lies
Innocent one silently cries
Seeing others treat so unfair
White dove in the air
Wishing to carry all away
Would take the burden on
Carry off all despair
White dove in the air


G - Aug 2009

Is, As it always is.

Existence is as it always is
The life of the dead
Only hearing the echoes
Of things that were said

But still the knife comes
Slicing from the world all his
Last times being only lost
And existence is as always is

The world of the Good People
Ever as it was before
No more at a loss or a care
For the soul that is no more

The promise that once was
Thoughts in error of could belongs
Less a burden on the world
Existence a reminder of all of his wrongs

The pretenses the night multiplied
Endure only to place him with fault
To justify the actions once taken
And abandoned dreams once sought

Hope replaced with despair
For things tasted then taken away
With a back that simply is turned
And love simply thrown away

Existence is as it always has been
The life of one already dead
Who can only hear faint echoes
Of promises he once heard said.


G - July 2009

Why is it

Why is it that some
Are attacked by illnesses unfair
Burdens of life
No one should have to bear

Diseases of mind
Illnesses that hurt to the core
Sickness of flesh
Till a person can take no more

Why is it that some
Only seem to seek out pain
Torture their soul
Till life seem to drive insane

Their way always finds
Fields of weeds, thickets of briars
The lake for some serene
Bring them only bogged mires

Why is it that some
When searching for life’s mate
Find what the seek
Only to have it turn to hate

Friend turns to love
Sharing of mind and heart
Open their soul
To have it pierced by a dart

Why is it that some
Only attract those that use
Until the have no need
Cast aside when they choose

Never will it be
There turn to feel so alive
Have something more
Do more than try to survive

Why is it that some
Feel that they are free to treat
Children and helpless
With only the souls of their feet

Abuse and despair
The only things they ever give
While taking away
The very will of others to live

Why is it that some
Are the only ones that deserve joy
The ones that behave
Others like the world is their toy

While those they use
Attend to their every care
In return to be treated
As if they are not even there

Why is to that some
Are denied even hope for a cure
More pills, more talks
And more pain seem to be sure

Only more blows
To beaten body and mind
While dreams of life
They can only watch unwind

Why is it that some
Only find another care
No one to share
The load help to bare

Why is it that some
Seem to fade into the mist
As they wonder why
They came to exist

Why is it that some
Never see that happily ever after
Could it be different
In the hereafter

Why is it that some



G - Aug 2009

Illusion

Existence is only an illusion
A reality that can be denied by others
Turned back again to nothing
When life once more hope smothers

When the path once more is obscured
Clouding all into delusions
Making tomorrow seem out of reach
And again existence only an illusion.


G - July 2009

All Is Well

Scene of life on a brisk fall morn
Chill in air as the day starts to form
Good beings queued as rows of corn
In the world that continues anorm

Air clear of grief with no sign of pain
Each soul on the days appointed rounds
All is well, all is well, the common refrain
As vivency like a metronome sounds

Echoes the sound of the few unclean
Fitting not the form that was cast
Unheard by the many so serene
Unnoticed, they are simply passed

The bite of the air so crisp and clear
Helps hide what those voices would tell
Laments of sorrow, of pain, of fear
Amongst choruses of All is well
All is well




G - July 2009

Dawn Breaks

Dawn Breaks
Another day
What does it mean
What is it for
One more chance
To find a hope
One more dawn
Another day

A bird sings
Just out of view
Simple song of joy
By a simple being
One that can experience
Life without care
And share that song
From just out of view

Simple meant
To feed the limbs
One less worry
For troubled soul
Strength to carry on
At least in flesh
But not for mind
Only weary limbs

One more day
Down paths endless
Treading on in the dark
Unlit by the day
But one more trip
Without destination
One more day
Down endless paths

Dawn breaks
Another day



G - July 2009

Move on

Fill your purpose
Then move on
Once the want is filled
The need is gone
Pack the bags
Hide the pain
No longer wanted
Just move on


G - July 2009

Clown

Send in the clown
Painted on smile
To hide real thoughts
Pretend for a while

Always good for a laugh
Whenever you feel down
You can use him as a prop
Just call for the clown



G - July 2009

My New Best Friend

I got an E-mail yesterday
For a prince from far away
Just needed a little help
So now I am gonna be rich
That’s what he had to say

Got that phone call again last night
From that voice that sounds so light
She really likes me so very much
That she calls six times each week
Just to make sure my warranty is right

How I miss a human touch
A friendly hand to clutch
But I have new people around
Only worried about finances sound
Afraid on my loans I pay too much

I got an E-mail from my new best friend
She gets a little personal in what she sends
I don’t remember telling her about my meds
Sometimes she confuses what I need
But it is so good to have a friend

So I wait once more for the phone to ring
Hoping what the next call might bring
Maybe a lighter call
As I sit in the hall
And talk to my new best friend again.


G - June 2009

I am

I am
A person meant only to serve
One who gives all that is asked
Seems never to come out ahead
A nothing all feelings masked

I am
One without merit even to be
Being with an existence uncounted
One who is tossed aside without thought
With every effort only discounted

I am
A mere after thought at best
An invader in the world of others
But out of place in this existence
Outcast on the path that smothers

I am
A trivial toy to fill idle time
A placeholder to fill a void
Of so little value one need not
Even look back or be annoyed

I am
What I have always been
Knowing what is my task
Not expect or receive
Only do what is asked
Such as I am


G - April 2009

Wind Whips

Wind whips at the parched earth
Bones scattered on the ground
Barren as far as the eye could see
If the were anyone to look around

This was once a land of promise
There was a time of living dreams
But now that hope is cast aside
Existence as lifeless as if seems

Drained of a future meant to be
Appointed destination turned to lie
Abandoned to the vultures of life
No thoughts of even answering why




As the wind whips
At the bones scattered
One more life
That never mattered


G-June 2009

Bird from the tree

Bird falls from the tree
Abandoned never to see
Not another day alive
No chance to survive
Did it fall by accident
Or mercy heaven sent
Was it never meant to be
Little one from the tree

Picked up gently without hope
Too young for a chance to cope
Just another one thrown away
Life without any choice or say
Without a home, without a nest
Someone else decide for best
While for meaning others grope
Often without the slightest hope

Bird falls from the tree
One more not meant to be
But at least a spirit free
Little bird from the tree

G - June 2009

It is what it is

It is what it is
That is but life
There is no fault
It just is what it is

Love comes and goes
Just as the breath
Things to last forever
Are gone in a flash

A promise for all time
Nothing will ever stop it
Words etched in stone
Washed away by a breeze

Destiny written in the stars
Carved deep into the heart
Ingrained into the heart
Forgotten as mere idle thought

Fate was but a fraud
Miracle of meeting only a blink
Mated souls but a passing
And life just is what it is
So I’ve been told.
So I've been shown
It is what it is.

G - May 2009

Midnight

Midnight
In a world so alone
Thoughts
Only thoughts
Repeating in the head
Of a light that to the heart
Having once for the heart shone

It is one AM
All to be heard is the clock
Ticking
Only ticking
Like a drum ringing
Echoing on the wall
A woodpeckers pounding knock

Two AM
And there is no sound
Silence
Only silence
Except those voices
Voice that will not die
Silence without quiet to be found

On to three AM
Laboring just to breath
Gasping
Only gasping
Not even knowing why
Is there really a reason
In this world of living death

Four AM
Closing eyes brings but torment
Nightmares
Only nightmares
Of hopes that pass by
Of faiths that only die
And continue the ever deeper decent

Now passes five AM
The waited sleep still stays away
Silence
Only silence
Disturbed by the hearth
As it thunders in the dark
Nocturnal demons all you can obey

Six AM
World becomes live once more
Once more
Always once more
Enter that world an outcast
World that tossed you aside
If it ever lets you in to begin with
Until once more that silence
Of midnight
Starts into your mind bore


G - June 2009

Follow

Night stuns the sight
Awash with the gleam of stars
Far from thoughts of man
How it marks time with mars

Thunder peels its sound
Echoes through the canyon walls
Storm howls with quiet voice
With haunting voice at soul it calls

Torrent of water flows
As rain the feeds swollen river
Barrier against advance
Beneath the lunar waning sliver

A single bird calls warning
Claiming that path is not the way
But like so many others
It has never really had a say

For through all the view
Only one star calls spirit to motion
Be it folly or resolution
Residual deception of romantic notion

That route is the only road
Left that leads to destinations foretold
So that path life has dictated
Is followed by one with soul long sold.



G - June 2009

Paths

When is it time to leave a place?
How can one truly ever know?
When is it time to just move on
To not look back, to just go?

The list of reasons for me
To not be in this place is long
Most simple to sum them up:
I simply do not belong

Fast than the clock moves
My body grows old
While to those I love
Memories of me grow cold

Old before what should be time
But still this body trails my mind
It is failing now so quickly
The calendar is so unkind

A lifetime I have spent preparing
Always for the future distant
A future that never comes to be
Just more time fruitlessly spent

I put aside my wants and dreams
In favor of my responsibilities
Following other’s rules and wishes
Allowing to evaporate other possibilities

Always just one more year
One more hurdle to pass
Never turning a corner
Always more cares amass

Finally I shouted no more
I will not follow that way
It is not on me to only give
Without even having a say

I tried to shed responsibilities
That others burdened on me
Make choices for myself, by myself
One time have my own wishes to be

But those plans and fantasies
I allowed others to crush each one
Things I promised myself
Life made sure I would reach none

I have had enough of such things
I will not take any more
Those things are no longer mine
It is no longer my chore

I am old. I am tired
I do not want to start again
But I will no longer just sit and serve
Is that really such a sin

If it is, so be it
Because no longer am I life’s slave
I do not have much longer
And all I have to give, I gave

I said to many long ago
I stayed because I had something to do
I would try to answer the call
But what was the call I had no clue

I have since done some things
Help occasionally I’ve been able to give
And it has helped within me feel
I still had purpose in life to live

I cannot truly not though say
That I know I still have that call
I think I have reached the point
I may have now given my all

I may be wrong, in what I see
But the end of the path seems near
As I listen to the world around me
The song coming to me is not of fear

If I continue the way I have
It has only one path to follow
One without any draw for me
Just more of life’s pills to swallow

But now I can take a turn to the left
Or there is a fork that also leads right
I am not sure yet which I will take
Because their destination is not in sight

The one that is straight there is no doubt
That destination is much too clear
It only holds more of burden’s chains
Pain that pierce as deep as a spear

There are many places in life to be alone
Often filled with people all around
Places filled with the constant din of voices
Where your own throat cannot make a sound.

Never can one be so alone
As in a crowd that does not care
Considers you but in the way
Steals anything you try to share

I live in isolation and indifference
Lonely but never truly alone
With days passing by unnoticed
Unable to tell you if sun had shown

I would rather be by myself
As I try to find my way
Than pretend anything will change
As I try to keep despair at bay

What will find on that path
Where it leads is a mystery
But the other option is see:
Continue reliving painful history

I may meet friends I know only here
And in the recesses of my mind
I may once more end up regretting
The things I again leave behind

On that path there may be a river
Mountains, and a quiet lake
I don’t know what I want to find
Life will change with each step I take


G - May 2009

Crystals

Crystals form like jeweled life
Grow from the constricting frame
Patterns that blur the view
While binging sight clear

The royal black of a darkless night
Winter’s light bent through the blankets
Snow and clouds that freeze the air
Surreal held at bay by the fragile pane

Lifeless world built on the still
A sea of gentle harshness
Cutting the flesh
Soothing the mind

World on nothingness and silence
Filled with images of a time lost
Of what could and should and was
But held no more reality than shadow

Demon spirits of hope and dream
Dance on the sea of imagined bliss
Passing off fantasy of a destined truth
Spiked by the delusions of spite.



G - April 2009

cause and effect

Berries ripe have from the cane
Tempting too much to stay away
Risking the certainty thorns rip
For the quenching of the fruit

Back breaks under the load
While sun blisters the skin
Work that seems to never end
But tears down the body old

Drink bites at the throat
Bringing sweat to the brow
Releases inhibitions and cares
Making consumer one with crowd

Which is cause, which is effect
It would seem easy to the eye
But others might look closer
To their mind to question why

Do they drink for sharing
Or is it just to escape
Blind themselves for life
Laugh while they forget
All reality and pain
For a time, for a time.

Does he risk all
To toil in the heat
To enjoy the reward
Or to fall in valor
Rather than rot away
In slow time, marching time

If the fruit worth the pain
Or an excuse for the rip of flesh
As the rip brings blood, pain
Feeling to distract from others
To punish just as others trod
For just a time
Escape, payment
For an instant of time.

G- March, 2009

Demons

與填滿頭腦的魔鬼作戰
不能被遺留的過去時中
投射在旁邊，僅僅另外一沒什麼東西
透過一個世界那不跟我一起唱歌

Fighting Demons of the mind
Unable to leave the past behind
Declared to be but a nothing
While the world without me can sing


G- March 2009

Forty-nine years

Forty-nine years walking the Earth
Forty-nine years of fighting alone
Hope followed by disappointment
About the only things known

The task of being to lend others
Hoping someday to have a hand reach back
Never seeming to learn it would not change
Trying to give them the support they lack
A common thread to ignore I too have care
Not able to understand life will not be fair

Forty-nine years walking the Earth
Forty-nine years of fighting alone
Hope followed by disappointment
About the only things known

The path presented through the dark
Each dream that form in the night
Falls to my failure or lack of worth
Every step in life turns into mired fight
As darts bite flesh as I inch along
In a world is simply do not belong

Forty-nine years walking the Earth
Forty-nine years of fighting alone
Hope followed by disappointment
About the only things known

Will grows weary and hopes fail cold
As throw my mind rings saying old
You can’t win, you can’t break even
You can’t even quit the game
Trite is sounds, but true it bites
As yet another effort turns the same

Forty-nine years walking the Earth
Forty-nine years of fighting alone
Hope followed by disappointment
About the only things known


G- March 2009

Just A Pin Prick

Just a pin prick
No one will know
Just across the surface
No one can tell

Draw the edge slow
Not to go deep
No need to bleed
Someone might notice
If it does more
Than just a seep

Looks like but a scratch
But it fills the need
Draws to the flesh
The sensation of pain

Distraction from other cares
Facts that on the mind wears
As those nerves on the skin
What is one more scar
That no one will see
Only from you to know
That once more there was
Too much to take

Serrated, that is the trick
Those edges cut more
While marking less
Searing like heat to flesh

Maybe a tattoo
Maybe more than one
To feel those pinpoint
Drive the feeling home
While others do not know
It is the pain you seek
Not the image left behind

Just a needle to the palm
That works just as well
And can be done over again
With no one to tell

Just one more scar
To represent one more day
One more survived
One less to stay

Just a little pin prick
No one will know
No one will care
No one to tell.



G- March 2009

Mars

Circlet of tarnishes in the metal
Device of destruction
And to bring down game
Stock marred with scratches
The wear of use by one now gone
Beating of treks in wood an field
Corrosion the price of long use
Those little circles of tarnish
Forming a pattern of no meaning it seems
Just rust on a device unkept
While to others, those marks
Might me be the last trace
Of the one that owned that device
Before it was passed forward
To one those marks of the fingers
Mean more that the device
Which others think they mar

A strand of hair
Left in a brush
Different in call than the rest
Lighter and longer
Clearly not of the same source
Standing out from the dark discards
It would make no sense to most
Only a hair left behind
A stray hair left unintended
No longer a care to its owner
To most, it would not even be noticed
But to one, is reminds
That which is lost

Scrap of cloth
Kept for years in his pocket
Often held in hand
In the dark of night and mind
Discolored satin to him,
To others just at scrap
Not even a rag
Little more even than lint
Stained to yellow by time and touch
Folded there beneath bills
Existence unknown by others
Meaning would escape even if seen
Significance only to one
Who kept it to remember
When time seemed more kind

Feathers in a vase
Set upon a shelf
Ratty and torn
Void of apparent use
Marked in mud when discarded
By the innocents that once owned them
Saved for some reason
Held now in a jar
Mined by mites slowly
To skeletons and bare quill
Just as time slowly strips
All memories of good
Erases the past
Leaving only the dark


G- March 2009

Red Wall

Red wall in the wind
For rest, to keep out noise

The child leans against the wall
Casting shadows in the sun

Wood stained to color the world
Define a sanctuary from chaos

Place of safety form the fear
That seems to define life without

Peace within calming, serene
The horrors without not to be seen

That wall of red to keep out wolves
That otherwise would be at the door

A fence of red to keep out harm
Bounce that ball in security

Under sky without gray
Safety, sanctuary the from attack

The illusion that reality can be held back
By a wall of wood colored red

Who is actually being kept safe
The child, or the world

G- March 2009

Trust

Trust is a gift above all things
A sharing of all the future brings
Turning over of soul and mind
Believing you will receive in kind
But requires others to also be true
As you were for them, be there for you
When it fails and leave naught to cling
Trust is a curse that destroys all things



G- March 2009

Star Of Hope

Point of light in the dark recesses of the mind
Star of hope for one who for so long has been blind
Lead the hopeless out from the endless despair
Back from the brink towards the land of those who care

Eyes asparkle as jewel light in the bleak night
Glimmering specks to lead the beggar weak of sight
Lost soul submerged and descending the steps to hell
Heart lost into nonbeing in a bottomless well

Destiny cast aside without reproach of vows
Promises forever lost with no trace of marouse
Fate left in the wake of a trailing stream of waste
After briefly heavens bliss was allow a taste

Sunlight obscured indefinitely from view
All assurances of future die in the blue
The moon turning its face with embarrassed, disgraced
The chasm of trust in destiny once more misplaced

Weary of the trail of wandering without end
Seeing only insignificant life to extend
Blackness with only that tiny flickering star
The soul crushed again in fires of hell that char



G- November 2008

Diminish

The world is once more diminished
With the loss of those as should not
While lesser creatures that do harm
Spoil good things other hands wrought

Son of denstiny and bound by word
Brother of faith, defender true
Fought with heart and belief to defend
Fell alone in the morning dew

Eyes of a mother fair and generous
Grieved for her flesh she had raised
Less for lost of protecting her
Valiant not, nor fell to great praise

Past should have taught them well
To serve others first and defend
For those too weak to fight themselves
Of their own choice their blood spend

The thieves of good and life
Not content taking the best in fight
Defile what is good and innocent
Creep and slaughter in the night

Dreams of future and memories past
Taken by cowards, the vermin swine
Right never though once cowered
But fought and pealed warning chime

Still that will fell in that field
Defended while head-on meeting fate
But matter not right or wrong in life
Truth can oft be felled by hate

Together, they will be together
As rightfully is should always be
Arm in arm, in their eternal embrace
Joined in love spirits always free
Even if it only beyond this life
Or in the delusions of fantasy.


G- November 2008

Flower of the Maiden

Lady with eye pure and the sparks of stars
Silver flowed her gown of silk and gems
Maiden fair of face and pure of heart
At peace in the wood, hidden by steam



A lad of the land, neither noble nor proud
Met the Lady by field in the spring air
The talk of dreams and hopes they shared
And the snare of love captured his mind

With kiss stolen in the still of one day
The two made plans, exchanged vows
And he was forced to take a leave
To find a way to make a home

His maiden he left behind that day
As bittersweet tears stung at their eyes
They both knew he would keep his word
And wait for her in the secret wood.


G- November 2008

Siren Stream

The sweet melody of the siren stream
Melts ones mind in the glories of dream
Peace and rest for tired spirit it does bring
While the breezes through willow leaves sing
To the chorus is added the song of birds
That poets struggle to transform into mere words
Though justice he can never give that song
He will grasp to try to remember long


G- November 2008

Caterpillar

Caterpillar, funny worm
Moves between leaf and twig
Fuzzy little crawling fellow
Moves slowly without care

Graceful as it flies by
The butterfly in flight
Lands near Caterpillar
The brief sunny hour to share

The woolly worm then feels
An emotion never known
Jealousy at the beauty
The wings without compare

Why do you come to mock
To show up my ugly garb
Not invited you were to land
And intrude my space there

The butterfly laughed at him
And said she did not mean harm
Was just trying to be friendly
If offensive would move on

But he thought the other knew
That changes were coming soon
And then he would understand
When his new garb he would don

The fussy insect snorted
As he slowly crawled away
And the butterfly did sigh
And fluttered into air

That eve the caterpillar
Deep chill upon his core
Curled up into a leaf
Formed a comfy lay up there

But in the morn he woke not
At least not all the way
He did not seem to care
It seemed right to be at rest

Finally he awoke
Slumber of a length unknown
He only knew he felt strange
In a space so compressed

Breaking the confining shell
Almost tipped when he felt air
Looking up above his back
Saw majestic yellow wings

Then he fully understood
That a butterfly was he
The other did not mock him
Soaring to the air he sings


G- November 2008

Behind Blue Eyes*

From the work of Peter Townshend

No one knows what its like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

No one knows what its like
To be hated
To be fated
A life only of lies

And my dreams
Have become as empty
As your conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
Receive only vengeance
A will that’s never free

No one knows what its like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I don’t even blame you

No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

And my dreams
Have become as empty
As your conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
Receive only vengeance
A will that’s never free

When my jaw clenches, don’t let it open
I might use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I seem happy, and show I’m a fool

If I swallow anything evil
Just let it go down my throat
Don’t bother to give me a blanket
I don’t nee warmth, life is enough of ar coat

No one knows what its like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

G- February 2009

Objects in the rearview mirror*

Stealing From Meat Loaf

The skies were pure and the fields were green
And the sun was brighter than it's ever been
But it was still just an illusion that could never be
A closeness of fantasy I never really knew

It was always summer and the future called
We were ready for adventures and we wanted them all
And there was so much left to dream and so much time to make it real

But I can still feel the sting of all the tears so long
From a mind that crashed and burned
I know I'll never learn why
A fate should die so young

We were racing, we were soldiers of fortune
We got in trouble but we sure got around
There are times I think I see the future in the dark
But truth was right behind me and gaining ground

But it was long ago and it was far away, oh God it seems so very far
And if life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are

And when the sun descended and the night arose
I heard as destiny cursed everything I’ve ever known
The path was dangerous and drunk and defeated
And corroded by failure and envy and hate

There were endless winters and the dreams would freeze
Nowhere to hide and no leaves on the trees
And the eyes of the night were blank
As life hit me again and again and again

I know I still believed faith would never leave,
But reality had left me all alone
So many fears, so much pain
So many wasted years in a life that could never be my own

And though the nightmares should be over
Some of the terrors are still intact
I'll hear that ugly coarse and violent voice
As hell grabs me from behind and pulls me back

But it was long ago and it was far away, oh God it seems so very far
And if life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are

There was a beauty living on the edge of town
And she always put the top up and the hammer down
And she taught me everything I'll ever know
About the mystery and the muscle of love

She needed help while the stars glimmered
And the moon shared glow peering through the night
And I took a back seat with my Angel in need
Abiding my turn for the joys of life

Those were the rights of spring and we did everything
There was salvation for us both within sight
We got our dreams reborn and our chains were broke
I had chosen a path that was finally right

Then my world came down with a resounding crash
And in the pain of my mind I reached for that hand
But it was withdrawn, no help was insight
Once more I was alone to deal in the dark

But it was long ago and it was far away, oh God it seems so very far
And if life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are

Then my world came down with a resounding crash
And in the pain of my mind I reached for that hand
The help had been a one way street in the night
Just like always it would ever be.

But it was long ago and it was far away, oh God it seems so very far
And if life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are

G- February 2009

My Humilation*

Only very minor changes from Liz Phair's words

I'm walking down in the basement
I'm leaning on the washing machine
I'm reaching back through a hole in the wall's insulation
I'm pulling out a bottle of vodka
Replacing that with a pint of Jim Bean
I'm lying down on the floor until I feel better

It's morning and I pour myself coffee
I drink it til the kitchen stops shaking
I'm backing out of the driveway
And into creation

And the loving spirit that follows me
Watching helplessly, will always forgive me

Oh, I want to die alone
With my sympathy beside me
I want to bring down all those demons who drank with me
feasting gleefully
On my desperation

I hide all the bottles in places
They find and confront me with pain in their eyes
And I promise that I'll make some changes

But reaching back it occurs to me
There will always be some kind of crisis for me

Oh, I want to die alone
With my sympathy beside me
I want to bring back all those moments they stole from me
In my reverie
Darkening days end

Oh, I want to die alone
With my memories inside me
I want to live that life
When I could say people had faith in me
I still see that lie in my memory

Oh, I want to die alone
With my sympathy beside me
I want to bring down all those people who drank with me
Watching happily
My humiliation

G- February 2009

Woke Up this AM*

based on BB King

I woke up this morning, my hope was all gone
Woke up this morning, my dreams were all gone
I've feel so bad, I'm all alone

I ain't got nobody, stayn' home with me
I ain't got nobody, stayn' home with me
My faith is gone, I'm in misery

Look in the mirror, I'm all alone
See only dispair, I'm all alone
I ain't had faith in some time
Destined only to be alone

Hope all dead, I'm all alone
In my little world, I'm all alone
This reality of mine, I'm in misery

Oh help me, I can't take this isolation
Am I really that sick, that no one can understand
My hope has all died, I'm in misery

I have been abandoned, I'm all alone
See no hope for change, I'm all alone
Always will be the same, all hope is gone

G- February 2009

In the wee wee hours*

Form the work of Chuck Berry

In the wee, wee hours
That's when I think about life
In the wee, wee hours
That's when I think about you
You say, but yet I wonder
If your love was ever true

In a wee little room
I sit alone and think of the pain
In a wee little room
I sit alone and think of you
I wonder if you still remember
All the things we used to do

One little song
For a fading memory
One little song
For a fading memory
Of the one I really love
With nothing left for me

In the wee, wee hours
I sit alone with walls closing in
Knowing things will never be
As I once hope for
In the wee hours all alone
Thinking of another path
One more that can never be

Once again a fading of mind
A life vacant of my wee soul
In my wee little world
With a heart that has grown cold

G- February 2009

Haven't Found*

From Bono

I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside
I want to reach out
And touch the flame
Where the streets have no name

I want to feel,
I want to run the race
I want feelings to disappear
Without a trace
I want to take shelter
From the poison rain
Where the streets have no name

Where the streets have no name
Without the pain, without the blame
Where I can hide from the world
And the burning mind, a place with no sound
And when I go there
I go there, I may got to stay
Where the streets have no name

The thoughts are a flood
And the thoughts turn to rust
I'm beaten and blown by the wind
The path is only dust
I'll show you a place
High on the desert plain
Where the streets have no name
And I can quietly go insane

Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name
Where I am not held to blame
For actions I did not choose
Where it does not matter
That I have no more to lose
Where the burning sun
Can drive away thoughts
And leave my mind numb
And when I go there
This time I might stay
Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name.

G- February 2009