Objects in the rearview mirror*

Stealing From Meat Loaf

The skies were pure and the fields were green
And the sun was brighter than it's ever been
But it was still just an illusion that could never be
A closeness of fantasy I never really knew

It was always summer and the future called
We were ready for adventures and we wanted them all
And there was so much left to dream and so much time to make it real

But I can still feel the sting of all the tears so long
From a mind that crashed and burned
I know I'll never learn why
A fate should die so young

We were racing, we were soldiers of fortune
We got in trouble but we sure got around
There are times I think I see the future in the dark
But truth was right behind me and gaining ground

But it was long ago and it was far away, oh God it seems so very far
And if life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are

And when the sun descended and the night arose
I heard as destiny cursed everything I’ve ever known
The path was dangerous and drunk and defeated
And corroded by failure and envy and hate

There were endless winters and the dreams would freeze
Nowhere to hide and no leaves on the trees
And the eyes of the night were blank
As life hit me again and again and again

I know I still believed faith would never leave,
But reality had left me all alone
So many fears, so much pain
So many wasted years in a life that could never be my own

And though the nightmares should be over
Some of the terrors are still intact
I'll hear that ugly coarse and violent voice
As hell grabs me from behind and pulls me back

But it was long ago and it was far away, oh God it seems so very far
And if life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are

There was a beauty living on the edge of town
And she always put the top up and the hammer down
And she taught me everything I'll ever know
About the mystery and the muscle of love

She needed help while the stars glimmered
And the moon shared glow peering through the night
And I took a back seat with my Angel in need
Abiding my turn for the joys of life

Those were the rights of spring and we did everything
There was salvation for us both within sight
We got our dreams reborn and our chains were broke
I had chosen a path that was finally right

Then my world came down with a resounding crash
And in the pain of my mind I reached for that hand
But it was withdrawn, no help was insight
Once more I was alone to deal in the dark

But it was long ago and it was far away, oh God it seems so very far
And if life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are

Then my world came down with a resounding crash
And in the pain of my mind I reached for that hand
The help had been a one way street in the night
Just like always it would ever be.

But it was long ago and it was far away, oh God it seems so very far
And if life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are

G- February 2009

In The Mirror Before His Face

In the mirror before his face
But a child and lesser than others
Child though was, he appeared even younger
Friends to share his thoughts he had not another

Slight of size and of not much wisdom
Knowing not how to fit in with the host
Alone in the thoughts of a lonely mind
Little of cheer to his being of which to boast

In the mirror before his face
A sad face it was, in pain, in need
Loss was great upon his mind and soul
Death is bitter to the young, and fears it did feed

The loss was great of those he loved
Ones who had some understanding of him as few
Gladly would he have traded places with them
Those of good heart who suffered without due

In the mirror before his face
Eyes of one lonely beyond his years
Come of age though far from it in looks
His mind was already worn by the jeers

Misfit he was, left behind by those of stature
Maturity of mind even if body not full
He countered with his only tool at his bidding
His mind was as sharp of thought as he was dull

In the mirror before his face
He saw one still young and without grace
Time to take leave, and to go meet the world
To take on life, to make a mark, to find a place

He found one who could abide his self
Who agreed to share his path in life
They traveled what seemed half the world
To be together against challenges as man and wife

In the mirror before his face
He saw once more one lost and failed
Having used once more his only tool, his mind
He seemed appreciated until the need for misfits paled

Cast aside by those who had praised his deeds
Turned away by others that called him friend
He was now but a threat to their places, a challenger
When plans failed, alliance were left to blow in the wind

In the mirror before his face
He saw one broken and without hope
His mind failing, he was in heavy need
One who pledged to help left him alone to cope

She ran from his side, left him alone
Said she could not any longer share a home
He sought help with out her support
With a kind doctor though he found some

In the mirror before his face
He saw one desperate to give it another chance
He set aside all his own will in favor of promises
Chose to take all blame, never take a stance

Doc said if he chose this route he wished him well
But treatment was over; he could see him no more
Still he pick the path he knew was wrong
He tried with all his might though a brutal chore

In the mirror before his face
He saw someone who was going all wrong
Trying the fantasy of becoming a farmer
Working a dual life requiring more than strong

But he loved and cared for his birds one and all
The geese especially were his children and friends
He gave them everything that was in his power
A fantasy that he hope his feeble life would mend

In the mirror before his face
He saw a life that had not a trace of good
Things always fell apart and went wrong
Nothing was turning out as wanted or should

Others destroyed everything he tried to do
They killed more than hope and turned all to a lie
They did not care; in fact made sure it would fail
They killed everything, including his will to try

In the mirror before his face
He saw one broken and without hope
Mind seemed to shatter, he planned his death
He was only alone with his self to cope

The one to whom he long ago had pledged
Until death never to part or to stray
Seem no longer to care if he even existed
Had many times told him to just go away

In the mirror before his face
He saw a man who he knew still had a dream
One who had found someone to share them with
She with eyes and a spirit that in love did gleam

Together they would survive all their pains
Together they would take on a life’s gamble
They would correct all the wrong in their world
They would untangle their minds that were a bramble

In the mirror before his face
The face of one who had all his dreams crushed
He gave everything he had, anything asked
Only to have his whole being turned to dust

He held her hand when she was in distress
Then turned her back when it was his turn
Left his mind more twisted than ever before
A feeble broken man who seems never to learn

In the mirror before his face
He sees once more a soul in complete despair
One who sees no hope for tomorrow, no dreams
Only one that any longer can seldom even care

His dreams and fantasies came to life
They were finally his to have and to hold
And every one of them were taken away
After in faith his every principle he sold

In the mirror before his face
In what he saw he could discern no good
Forsaken by love, by fate, by his soul-mate
Once again with nothing that was as it should

In that mirror he saw nothing not to despised
All he could see was pain and sorrow in those eyes
He saw what everyone else had always seen
The face of the loser within whom all faith dies

In the mirror before his face
He saw a life of disgrace
He saw a mirror he wanted to break
It was all more than one could take
He did not want to see any trace
Of that mirror before his face.

Life In A Mirror

Snow hides the glare of summer
Provides a place to hide
From the prying eyes of life
And the anguish so hard to abide

But the phantom drifts all melt away
By the blazing sun of the world real
And the blizzard haze proves to not obscure
Nor dull those things you wish not to feel

The silence becomes a friend
A warmness to the mind, a soothing song
An embrace through the night
A peace for which you long

Dark turns into an eternity
Stretching, haunting, with no rest
Thoughts race faster than in day’s light
With no sound to interrupt this nightly test

Elation, euphoria, pureness of joy
You can take on the world and make it yours
Your own to control, to have, to hold
Mountains, people, air, water and shores

But you can have none of it
It is only fiction, a myth, an illusion
The dream explodes, hammers your soul
And reveals itself as nothing but delusion

You find your self in the reality of others
Slow, stable, a well respected, steady pace
You can do this, what they tell you is right
This is how to pursue life, to win the chase

There is no hope, no future, no goals
You simply exist, try to survive the despair
You do as others say, with every ounce of strength
But the truth is you just really no longer care

The joy of helping others drives you
The one great purpose of life
To guide, to aid, to hold a hand in love
Shepherd through the hurdles and strife

But when will they appreciate your sacrifice
When will they recognize and thank your effort
Will you ever be afforded a turn in kind
Where and when do you get support

The medicines help to calm, to ease the swings
To level your mind and ease the pains
Talking and breathing techniques to relax
Slowly helps give progress and gains

It also brings fears of loss of control
Fear of losing track of who you want to be
We are not puppets, not someone else’s to mold
We want to control ourselves, to feel, to see



We did not ask for this, often we lose control
Quit acting like it is our fault, we are not to blame
They might mean well with their words
But sometimes they seem to think this a game

It is hard to explain to others
These are not just highs and lows
To those who have not experienced
This form of life’s mental blows.

Illness? I suppose.
Condition? Sure.
It is something far more though,
Sometimes a curse,
Sometimes an adventure,
A loss of control,
A loss of far more,
But it is also who I am.